A Rust Monster Ate My Sword...

Dude, seriously???

2012-01-19T08:10:00.000-05:00

Just read this:

...most gamers during OD&D days didn't do that much RP...

Really? I mean... wow.

Dark World: Introducing The Traveler's Guide to Pretty Much Everything

2012-01-06T12:14:00.040-05:00

A publication of Zuorn Press, The Traveler's Guide to Pretty Much Everything, often called the "TGPME," or simply, "The Guide," was first published in Zuorn in 935. Its authors, an enigmatic duo known only as "Egbert & Chick," are said to regularly travel the World (and beyond) in a lifelong effort to keep the guide as up to date as possible. Addenda and errata have been printed every year since The Guide was first published, and have been included in reprints that have been published every 10 years.

Unfortunately, sales of The Guide have been sluggish, as few people have room in their homes for its 900 or so volumes, much less for the additional seven to nine volumes of addenda and errata that are published each year. As a result of its bulk, the guide is also of far less use to the average traveler than Zuorn Press had originally hoped. (One wizard, who wishes to remain unnamed, owns a copy of each of the last five prints and all of their associated addenda, errata, and collateral materials. He says he had to excavate the space beneath his tower just to make room for the nearly 5,000 massive tomes. He has nicknamed his subterranean library "The Dungeon of Pretty Much Everything.")

In recent years, however, progress has allegedly been made on development of a device that would make The Guide more user friendly. This rumored innovation, the "iParchment," is said to be a single magical scroll that can - at the direction of its owner - search The Guide's massive source library in Zuorn and retrieve and display an article almost instantly (with caveats for owners operating outside the iParchment's coverage area, eldritch outages, and the like). If the rumors are to be believed, the iParchment would allow an owner to have instant, up-to-date information as close as his nearest scroll case. Many find the rumors of the iParchment to be nothing more than silly marketing drivel - a mere attempt to generate interest in Zuorn Press and its publications and/or to drive sales of the print version of The Guide amongst those who are wary of it becoming obsolete or who are frightened of this new-fangled sorcery.

A Random Sample Entry from The Guide: The Wizard Brothers

A quartet of evil wizards, each of the “Wizard Brothers” claims that his epithet is his legal name, although no birth certificates have been produced to support this. The only other living family member, their father (known only as “Mr. Wizard,” and currently residing in a retirement community in Dunesrest) was once rumored to have countered the claim, stating that at least one son bore a different name at birth. But after a lengthy (and bloody) domestic dispute, no further counter-claims have been made. To this day, however, many wonder which of “the boys” bears the legal name “Gaylord Myron Wizard.”

The family has a foothold in every corner of the World:

In the north, Blizzard Wizard rules with a frosty fist from his cold, crystalline “Tower of Ice.” He is known by locals as the White Wizard*. They petitioned for the right to call him Winter Wizard, but were refused, as that name was too similar to one already taken by a reformed evil magic user who resides much farther north (and who emphatically claims to be “No relation!” to the brothers). A petition to instead dub Blizzard “Snow Miser” was started, but ultimately dropped due to “lack of significant interest.” (There were, however, rumors that threats from the estate of the Miser family had a chilling effect on the petitioning process.)

In the west, Lizard Wizard stalks the marshy lands of Mistmoor. Most of the local denizens aren’t very social, so not much local data has been divulged, except that they call him the Swamp Sorcerer and that his home is a flagstone manor deep in the center of the moors known as “Bog House.” Some have whispered that he rides on a giant, thunderous lizard and has various similar beasts under his command – but no sworn reports have been made to that effect, so it may just be local gossip.

In the east, Gizard Wizard rules the air above Upper Granwald. His “Evil Aerie” is on a crag, the highest point in the oldest and wickedest part of the wood. (It’s a sprawling section known as “Old Granny,” and it’s shunned by those who know their way around the forest.) Known by the forest folk as the Fowl Fiend, Gizard is said to have wings instead of arms; his feathered minions soar in the skies above and nest in the trees within much of the deep forest.

And in the south, the youngest sibling, Izzard Wizard freaks out the locals with his transvestigial ways from the fashionable-but-forbidding “Terrible Tower” (atop the rocky mass known as Hag’s Tor). Locals call him The Crimson Conjurer, as every item in his admittedly fabulous wardrobe seems to be some shade of red (with nicely contrasting accessories, of course). Some of the braver locals – usually during late-night pub conversations – like to make fun of him, calling him The Crimson Cross-dresser. Several groups of locals have gone missing after making such jests a little too loudly. (Interestingly, there seems to be a proportionate boost in the local toad population after such disappearances.)

*Here's an open letter posted on the Zuorn Press discussion board (a piece of wood nailed to the wall outside their offices in Zuorn, upon which people are allowed to express their opinions by tacking up notes):

"Zuorn Press has received letters and read posts here from several furrners [a colorful local word for out-worlders, extraterrestrials, and any other of the strange folk that frequently pop up on this world. - Ed.] wondering why the name "White Wizard" was allowed while others were not, as it clearly belongs to some allegedly "famous wizards" named "Gandalf" and "Saruman," or some such. It is not Zuorn Press' policy to speculate on the reasoning behind the decisions of the Governing Board of the Invisible School of Eldritch Wizardry. However, we do feel the need to take this opportunity to clarify a few things: all furrners are batshit crazy, and we do not appreciate being ranted at by every crank and loony that can put quill to parchment. We do not know who you are referring to - we know no Gandalfs or Sarumans. The closest would be Grand Dolph, the bartender at the Howling Monkey on Market Street. But he's no wizard. Not even close. And while we are at it, please stop ranting about "balrogs" and "hobbits." Previous entries in the first print of The Guide referring to these were mistakes, and as such were removed or corrected in later editions. They are demons and halflings, respectively - get over it already.

Sincerely, Zuorn Press."

. . . . .

An Open Letter to the Impending New Year

2011-12-30T11:55:00.005-05:00

Here it goes:

Dear Coming New Year (this means you, 2012),

You better not suck like your predecessor, 2011, did. Not even close. If you even think about sucking that bad, you better pray you are the herald of end times ~~the weirdos~~ some people claim you are.

You have been warned.

Sincerely,
Me

This was inspired by a quote on the Malavon blog:

Let's just say I'd like to take 2011 out in the yard and shoot it in the head!

Amen, brother!

Actually, I'd like to take it out in the yard, shoot it in both kneecaps, kick it around a little, and then shoot it in the head.

. . . . .

Dark World: PC Secret Backgrounds

2011-12-28T14:06:00.010-05:00

Here's the player character background table I plan on using for my Dark World game:

Secret Background Table (1d50)

1. "That copier's REALLY broken...": You’re an office temp from 20^th- or 21^st-century Earth. You were trying to fix a broken mimeograph/copier when – FLASH! You woke up here 3d30 days ago with a terrible headache. You have 1d4 possessions appropriate for your decade. (Do not roll on the PC’s Items of Interest table.) You refuse to acclimate to this weird place; however, your natural talents made you ripe for one of the human character classes. Your dress and mannerisms should reflect the decade you’re from. The DM should give you up to 5% bonus experience points for role playing your decade exceptionally well. Roll 1d6 to see what decade you’re from:
1: 1950’s
2: 1960’s
3: 1970’s
4: 1980’s
5: 1990’s
6: 2000’s

2. Polymorphed rodent: You are the result of a test of a wand of polymorph other. You've been a person for 1d4+2 months now and are still trying to get the hang of doing things the human/demi-human way.

3. Thog!: You are Thog. (Or some other one-syllable name.) Thog not speak word with more than one sy… sy… sound. (You are, of course, a thief or fighter.)

4. “Who am I?”: You have no memory of anything prior to 1d4 days ago. You still know how to use your skills, etc., but everything else is a blank. You don’t even know your own name.

5. Normal Joe/Plain Jane: You are actually pretty normal: your parents are alive and well, you have well-adjusted siblings, you had a normal childhood, and you really don't have a lot to complain about. In fact, you’re a little… too normal. Make 1d3 additional rolls on the Secret Nature table.

6. Illusion: You are actually just an illusion, and people could disbelieve you if they had any reason to. You are determined to make sure that everyone doesn't disbelieve you at the same time, because you’re afraid that you might cease to exist.

7. Disney Princess: You are the Disney Princess of your choice. Somehow your “happily ever after” was stolen from you and you ended up here. While you do want to get back, you are noticing you can do things here that were impossible before, like curse, or be unladylike in any other manner…

8. Which one is real?: You have the same appearance and background as the player seated to your left – EXACTLY the same.

9. “Uh oh...”: You rolled to check your character’s Secret Background, and you – the player – had your mind transported into your PC’s body in the fictional game world. Crap, the DM loves TPK's too....

10. Caused a great tragedy: You inadvertently caused a tragedy in your homeland that cost many lives and destroyed your entire community; the survivors became refugees and moved to other lands. To the best of your knowledge, no witnesses survived to tell the tale of your part in the now-infamous catastrophe. You hope...

11. The last of your kind: You're not human, elf, or anything else that anybody recognizes. As far as you know, you're from an entire race of others like yourself, but you are apparently the last of your kind. All you know of your past is that as a baby you were left on the doorstep of the orphanarium...

12. Shunned for bizarre religious beliefs: You are a member of a fringe cult whose beliefs and practices creep out normal folk. If the locals find out about your beliefs, they’ll form a mob armed with torches and pitchforks and run you out of town.

13. Traumatized ex-soldier: You are a grizzled veteran, and your military experiences have left you physically and emotionally scarred. Work with the DM to determine how your physical and emotional trauma presents itself.

14. Man-beast: You are an uplifted simian, dog, cat, or some other common animal. You’re mostly anthropomorphic, but your appearance clearly gives away your origins (ape face, snout, heavy body hair/fur, etc.). You may be of any human character class. You’re unsure of your origins; all you remember is that you were part of an enslaved work/military detail and escaped into the wilderness.

15. Fleeing the legacy of an evil family: You don't share your real family name because your family is renowned throughout the realm for its disturbingly evil doings. If the locals find out who you really are, they’ll form a mob armed with torches and pitchforks and hang you from the nearest tree.

16. Haunted by a ghost: You are haunted by the ghost of a former fellow adventurer, friend, or family member who believes his/her death was your fault. The apparition cannot physically affect you, and no one else is able to see or hear it. Which begs the question: is it real? Or are you just crazy?

17. Hunted for a crime you didn't commit: You are wanted by authorities across the realm for your heinous crimes... even though you've not committed any. There's also a large bounty on your head, and you're worth more dead than you are alive. If the locals find out who you really are, they’ll turn you in for the reward.

18. And what’s your name?: You believe that anything with a proper name is capable of thought and speech. You regularly have conversations with inanimate objects. Oddly (to others, at least – it seems perfectly normal to you) you occasionally seem to be able to get useful, actionable information from them. (Thanks to Craig and "Mr. Clang.")

19. “I'm from Earth’s future.”: You are from a world of advanced technology, where you were a test subject for a prototype time/trans-dimensional/quantum tunnel machine. You ended up... here. You're assuming the machine worked, and this is the past/another dimension/an alternate universe.

20. “I'm from Earth’s past.”: You are from 17^th- or 18th-century Earth, and you have no idea how you ended up... here.

21. The man who fell from the sky: You are a stranger from a strange land: a distant world, a different dimension, whatever. Your home world exploded/dimension collapsed/whatever ceased to be; but instead of being destroyed you literally fell into the World. (You still have the bruised hip to prove it.) You are – for the most part – anthropomorphic, although clearly not of a race that “belongs” here. Strangely, your native language is very similar to one already spoken in the World. (You may choose the language – your version sounds like an archaic dialect of that language. Any additional languages you speak are from your own world/dimension/whatever and are useless in the World. Or are they?)

22. Escaped experiment: You have no memories prior to 1d3 days ago. You awoke (roll a d6):
1-2: On a dusty shelf as a gray cube; your body formed in about 30 minutes
3-4: Fully grown, in a vat of mustard-colored goo
5-6: Fully grown, strapped to a metal table
Events of that day are a blur, but you vaguely recall fleeing from some sort of laboratory complex into the wilderness...

23. Your body is not your own: You are an escapee from an Alchemite facility, where your brain was removed from your body and kept in a jar. You escaped by "hijacking" the mind of one of their human/demi-human/humanoid servitors, and are now hunted by their agents. Your body’s original owner is still trapped within you, and can do nothing except occasionally use your voice when you are drunk, asleep, or at other times when your willpower is lessened.

24. Reborn from dead hero: The sages have declared that you are the spirit of an ancient hero, reborn, and that you are destined to lead the people to freedom/victory/the Promised Land. You are revered in your homeland and within certain religious circles.

25. Reborn from dead villain: The sages have declared that you are the spirit of an ancient evil, reborn, and that you are destined to lead the people to utter destruction. You are hated and feared in your homeland and within certain religious circles.

26. Shamed by cowardice: You found yourself at the Crossroads of Destiny, where your action alone would decide the fate of an entire nation. Unfortunately, you didn't have the intestinal fortitude to get the job done, and your single moment of self-serving cowardice has led to you being labeled an "arch-traitor." Your name is now used throughout the World as a household euphemism for cowards and cowardly behavior.

27. Fleeing failed marriage w/kids: You took to a life of adventure to escape your nagging wife, her beastly mother, and your five monstrous offspring (none of whom – oddly enough – bear the slightest resemblance to you). Death in the maw of a purple worm is far preferable to the life you left behind. Her mother has hired agents to find you and bring you back home, where you belong.

28. Runaway aristocrat: You are a member of a prominent noble family, but you have no interest in living the life of an aristocrat. Your family has sent agents to find you and bring you home, where you belong.

29. Fleeing an arranged marriage: You have taken to a life of adventure in an attempt to escape an arranged marriage. Both your family and that of your prospective spouse have sent agents to find you and bring you to the altar, where you belong.

30. Branded as a witch: 3d30 days ago, a group of witch hunters came to your village, looking for you! Your friends wouldn't defend you, and your family had their doubts as well. You were branded on the forearm with a mark identifying you across the realm as a witch. Fortunately, you managed an escape before the witch hunters could give you a “trial” and terminal hot-foot, and now you're hunted by the Inquisition and their nefarious agents who want to put you on a burning pyre, where you belong.

31. Deposed ruler: You are the “Butcher of [insert homeland here],” former dictator-for-life of that beleaguered city-state. You managed to escape a bloody coup, but you are hunted by agents of the ruling junta out of fear that you'll return and attempt to recover your position of power, where you believe you belong.

32. Twin sibling is a force for evil: You have an identical twin that is so corrupt and malicious that they have been exiled from your homeland for their evil ways. Folks often mistake you for them, much to your dismay.

33. Yandolian refugee: You are a refugee from the Desert of Yando; you escaped a Yandolian slave pit, and the slave masters have sent their agents to “collect” you. Create a Mutant Future character (of the fighter class and with hit points generated per the rules later), equipped normally, but you also have two randomly rolled Technological Artifacts. (Do not roll on the PC’s Items of Interest table.)

34. Carcosan wanderer: You were caught up in the flux of some errant sorcery and mystically transported to this world; you have no idea how to get back to your own. Create a Carcosa character, equipped normally, but you also have a Space Alien pistol with 1d100 charges remaining in its power cell. (Do not roll on the PC’s Items of Interest table.)

35. Body thief: This body isn’t yours; you stole it. You’re not sure how: 2d30 days ago you just suddenly became aware that you were, but that you had no physical form. You jumped into the nearest one you could find and fled the scene (of some sort of ritual or experiment). The body’s owner wants it back, and he and his friends are actively searching for it.

36. Buddy the Elf: You were raised by elves as an elf. Although in your mid-30’s, you only recently (and traumatically) discovered that you’re really a human. You’re on a quest to find your real parents. Your character class is elf, but you have none of the special abilities of that class.

37. Action movie hero: You’re the hero of an 80’s action movie. You pursued your arch-nemesis through a weird swirling vortex in his underground/mountain-top stronghold and ended up here. You’re armed with a big gun (that never runs out of bullets, except when facing aforementioned arch-nemesis) and a never-ending supply of cheesy one-liners. (Needless to say, your class is fighter and your alignment is lawful. Do not roll on the PC’s Items of Interest table.)

38. Action movie villain: You’re the villain of an 80’s action movie. Your goody-two-shoes arch-nemesis forced you to use an untested dimensional portal generator in your underground/mountain-top stronghold and you ended up here. You’re armed with a big gun (that never runs out of bullets, except when facing aforementioned arch-nemesis), no measurable sense of humor, and an evil streak as wide as the Milky Way. (Your class is fighter and your alignment is chaotic. Do not roll on the PC’s Items of Interest table.)

39. Flower child: You’re a 60’s Earth hippy. You were hanging out in your VW van, smoking some pot and listening to Leonard Nimoy ‘s groovy “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins,” when you passed out. You awoke (3d30 days ago) and found yourself here (without the van, et al.). You’re still not totally convinced that this isn’t all some sort of bad trip resulting from that last half-tab of LSD and your latest reading of The Lord of the Rings. (Dwarves and elves? C’mon! This can’t be real…) You seemed a natural fit for the magic user class. At least that’s what that dude in the trippy blue robes said before he taught you a couple far-out tricks.

40. “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya…”: You have an unresolved vendetta that drives you. Whether it’s the six-fingered man that killed your father, or the one-armed man that murdered your wife, or some other crippled criminal or malformed malefactor that laid low one of your loved ones, you’re always on the lookout for that person so that you can exact your revenge. You even know exactly what you’re going to say to that person when you find them – and quote it to others ad nauseum.

41. “I thought you were dead.”: No matter where you go, people (humans, demi-humans, even humanoids – it doesn’t matter) say this to you. It seems that everyone knows your name (although the legends to which it’s ascribed vary widely and seldom have anything to do with your actual feats – or lack thereof) and they all think you’ve been previously inhumed. Who’s spreading these false legends about you? Perhaps more importantly, who’s spreading them with the belief that you’re no longer among the living?

42. “Rip Van Who?”: You fell asleep under a tree outside town – 1d6 x 100 years ago. You woke up 1d12 days ago, the same age as when you fell asleep – but with a long beard (sucks, if you’re a female) and toe- and fingernails. Everyone you knew is now long dead. You’re having a tough time adjusting to this new era, and seem to start most of your sentences off with: “Back in my day…”

43. Reincarnated and shunned: You were killed in an accident 2d30 days ago. Your friends and family raised enough money to have a travelling wizard cast reincarnation on your corpse. But when they saw what you’d been turned into, they and the rest of your community ostracized you. Roll on the reincarnation table to see what you were reincarnated as.

44. “I was a god, once…”: You were once revered as a deity or demigod. However, belief in you has waned to the point where no one worships you anymore; your temples and shrines have all fallen to ruin. As a result, you have become mortal and are no longer welcome in Valhalla or wherever your fellow gods hang out. You still recall and aspire to return to your days as a benevolent/uncaring/angry god, when people worshipped the ground upon which you walked. You will ascend again! All you need is a few faithful followers…

45. “Your grandfather slept with what?”: Although it’s supposedly impossible, your grandfather, umm… had an intimate relationship with some sort of monster or humanoid. The DM will choose one for you, and you have some noticeable physical trait – scaly skin; unnaturally thick body hair; a greenish, slimy complexion; a small horn in the center of your forehead; etc. – that belies your screwed up family tree but has no mechanical effect in the game. (It does make for interesting tavern conversation, though. Or maybe it’s just best to never talk about it…)

46. One of the living impaired: You died in an accident or from some illness, but due to stray necromantic magicks, you arose a few nights later as a zombie. Unlike most zombies, you retained your intellect and personality. Your body is preserved at the point of decay 1d3+2 days after death, and you smell strongly of funerary incense and perfumes, with a slight odor of decay lurking beneath. You are otherwise normal, except that you do not eat, drink, sleep, breathe, etc. You are also immune to disease and toxins. You do not heal damage, however; you must be repaired with whatever materials you can find to do the job. (Doing so takes the same time as normal healing.) You are immune to sleep, charm, cure wounds, etc. Your CHA score is treated as 6 when dealing with humans and demi-humans.

47. Child prodigy: You are a youth of your race (-2 STR and CON, +2 DEX and CHA) but mature beyond your years, and otherwise normal. And probably more than a little annoying – few people like a precocious kid.

48. “I’m getting too old for this shit.”: You are an elder of your race (-2 STR and CON, +2 INT and WIS) but still fit and active, and otherwise normal. And probably more than a little annoying – few people like a grumpy old fart.

49. “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.”: You pretend to be one class; but in reality, you’re another. You have your reasons for doing so: you’re a thief hiding out from the authorities/the mob, a fighter scouting ahead for his lord, whatever. Regardless of the reason behind it, it’s imperative that you keep up the masquerade. To let the veil drop for even an instant could prove fatal to yourself or someone else important to you.

50. Simulacrum: You were created as a simulacrum of a powerful warlock. However, you came into existence with your own personality. Not content to wait around for him to skin-ride you or do whatever else he had planned for you, you got the heck out of there as soon as you could. You know he’s looking for you and it’s best to lay low, but posing as him to use his clout and connections could provide all sorts of benefits… (Your class is magic user.)

It's cobbled together from some of my own entries, as well as some from these sources:

http://likebeingreadtofromdictionaries.blogspot.com

http://beyondtheblackgate.blogspot.com/

http://zzarchov.blogspot.com/

Thanks to the original posters for such great ideas!!!

. . . . .

New Year, New Direction

2011-12-27T13:29:00.005-05:00

Tired of the bullshit. Time for a change of attitude.

On This Day, Thirty Years Ago

2011-12-25T12:58:00.008-05:00

That's the day my Number One Hobby really began for me, starting with this:

(Last photo borrowed from gamehermit.com)

Here's hoping your holiday marks as wonderful a beginning for you, as well.

. . . . .

Happy Hogswatch!!!

2011-12-24T15:54:00.003-05:00

...And a joyous whatever-other-solstice-holiday-you-may-celebrate!

Growing Up Geeky, Part III: D&D and Me

2011-12-16T09:50:00.035-05:00

[This is the third part of my autobiographical "Growing Up Geeky" series - click to read "Part I: Prehistory" and "Part II: The Early Years." (I know: the second half of the "Part II" post is missing. I've skipped ahead a bit here, but rest assured: the Star Wars/Atari-years post will be here - some day.)]

A recent post at Grognardia got me thinking about my first days in the hobby. As I get older, I find I have more trouble remembering things, especially the days of my youth. Therefore, I thought it might be a good idea to get this portion of the "Growing Up Geeky" series down - before I lose the memories all together. So, to that end, here's a meandering piece of personal history/nostalgia expanded from my comments on James' blog post:

As with most aspects of my childhood (growing up as a nerd in in rural NY) I learned to role play (Dungeons and Dragons, of course) in a vacuum. I was raised in farm country, several miles from the nearest town. I had friends, but they lived in town, so I couldn't just hop on my bike and go over to their houses (and vice versa) whenever I wanted to hang out. Trips to each others' houses were planned excursions, and were becoming more infrequent by the beginning of the 1980's. (This infrequency was partially due to growing older, but also partially my fault, as after being diagnosed with juvenile diabetes in December of 1980, I'd suddenly become inexplicably uncomfortable spending the night at my best friend's house. To this day, I can't explain it...)

I had no other friends nearby, as all of the kids who lived closer to me were just that: "kids." (One just didn't consort with a schoolmate more than a grade - two at most - lower than oneself. That sort of thing was simply bad form.)

The seclusion wasn't something I gave much thought to, however. I'd been raised with it, and I'd become very adept at keeping myself entertained. Furthermore, I had my nephew, John, to keep me company on a regular basis through the later 70's and early 80's. Although I call my friend Brian Z. my "best friend," the truth of the matter is that John was my best friend through most of my teens. He spent many summers at my house, and my brother and his family moved next door to us sometime around or shortly before 1980, IIRC, after which I saw John even more frequently. We basically grew up together.

Unfortunately, my memory of 1980 and the surrounding years has grown extremely fuzzy, so exact dates are impossible to determine. For a long time, I had thought that I'd been introduced to role playing games in 1980, but I've realized in recent years that it must have actually been 1981.

And, as I've mentioned before, my first hobby-related possession wasn't a set of D&D rules. Or any other role-playing game rules, for that matter. No, my first hobby-related possession was a D&D module: A3, "Assault on the Aerie of the Slave Lords."

It was originally bought as a birthday present for a friend. But my mother was curious what "this D&D thing" was all about, so before gift wrapping it she opened it and read it with my nephew and myself. Or tried to read it. I still recall finding it to be full of bizarre, unfamiliar terms and acronyms - kind of like reading a tech manual for a SR-71 or something. But it piqued my interest, and she asked if I wanted to keep it and we'd get my friend something else. (That "something else" turned out to be a "Sick" magazine that had something to do with Star Wars. I know: it's nowhere near as nice a gift. He wasn't that close a friend. :P)

Based on the fact that the aforementioned friend's birthday was in December, and that - according to the Acaeum - A3 was published in 1981, I'm guessing the date of this event was late November or early December of 1981. That crunches the timeline I'd originally envisioned for my entry into the hobby, which I'd thought had run from December 1980 to Christmas of '81. But those years have blurred with the haze of time and age, and I perceived the passage of time far differently as a youth than I do now. The days passed more slowly, then; a month then is like six months now.

Anyway, that enigmatic orange-yellow-covered book with its wonderful maps and imagination-sparking illustrations was my first step into the world of D&D. Mind you, it wasn't the first time I'd heard of the game. I'd seen and been moderately intrigued by the books in KayBee Toys in Riverside Mall*. (I was especially enthralled by the cover of Eldritch Wizardry - go figure.) So I'd known about the game for some time; it had been on my radar, but wasn't something I had any interest in.

For some reason I'll never fully comprehend, my demeanor toward the game changed drastically around mid- to late 1981. With the simple discovery that the aforementioned friend's older brother and his friends (who would have been the "freaks" if my life at that time were an episode of Freaks & Geeks) played the game, I suddenly found my interest in it blossoming. I imagine this was partially fueled by media hype surrounding D&D (the new "fad" was - it seemed - forever appearing in various news outlets back in the day), by the ever-growing line of products for the game, by the growing buzz surrounding the fantasy genre - and probably more than a little by my Hobbit-loving 8th-grade English teacher.

Shortly thereafter - according to the revised timeline - I discovered that the local lawn and garden supply/toy store (yes, they sold toys next to the riding mowers) sold the yellow-box series of Grenadier miniatures for D&D. I bought (read as: coerced my mother into buying for me) my second piece of D&D paraphernalia there: the "Specialists" boxed set.

As Christmas approached, I began to think more and more about the game. I envisioned my character (before I knew that term, as it pertains to the hobby) - the paladin from the Grenadier set - descending into a valley on a narrow path through a dense forest full of giant mushrooms**, a beautiful princess at his side as he used his gleaming sword to hew his way down the vine-choked stones. He was an elf prince himself, called "Moordow."

So, when C-Day came, it seemed like a no-brainer that D&D would be nestled under the tree. I say "seemed like" because it wasn't an unheard-of occurrence to not get what one wanted most for Christmas. Parental concern and other factors could always trump youthful desire, and such statements as "You'll shoot your eye out!" or "You'll become a Satanist!" could easily supersede a child's "I want that!" Sure enough, though, it was there - in the form of a lurid pink box bearing a brilliant Erol Otus cover.

I spent a good portion of the following days delving into the red rule book that lay within, whose fantastical illustrations made most of those in "Aerie..." look mundane by comparison. I devoured the rules, and was ready to get to playing within a few days. (It would have been less, but I also received Milton Bradley's "Dark Tower" that year, and it was a serious contender for my post-Christmas attention.)

My friend Brian had also gotten a D&D box set for Christmas, and during the Christmas break we planned for him to come over to my house so we could play our first game. I think it was either shortly before his arrival that day or the day before that my nephew and I rolled up our first characters. (I don't recall Brian being there, although it's possible my hazy memory has failed me yet again.) We made a pair each, and Moordow was of course my first.

When Brian came over, it was agreed that he'd be the Dungeon Master, as he'd read B2, "The Keep on the Borderlands" - the adventure module that had also come in that lurid pink box - and I had not. (It wasn't until many many years later that I was comfortable running prefab modules. I always made my own - I think I was afraid of screwing something up if I tried to run someone else's material.) Our four characters, and two of Brian's, embarked on their first adventure...

And it was an abysmal failure.

The newness of the idea of role playing, Brian's lack of familiarity with the role of the DM, and our uncertainty about what our characters should be doing led to the game being an awkward exercise in theft, burglary, and murder, as our characters robbed and looted everyone in the Keep. It would be several weeks before I read the module myself and discovered that we were intended to go outside the Keep and kill things... (I also think that Brian's version of the rules were part of the problem he faced as DM: he had been given the Holmes' basic set, and I did not realize at the time that it differed so fundamentally from my Moldvay set. I'm sure this contributed to the challenge he faced as first-time DM.)

We abandoned our first session of D&D after a few encounters, slightly disillusioned (at least in my case), and opted instead - I think - to play Dark Tower. But it didn't matter. My imagination had been ignited, and it would take more than a bad initial game session to deter me from enjoying the Hell out of the game. Subsequent sessions with just my nephew and myself - with me as DM/co-player, running "modules" of my own creation - fared far better.

My foray into D&D that began with an alien "adventure module" could have ended if that book had gone to its intended owner. It could have ended if I'd not received the game for Christmas. It could have ended after an initial game session of criminal mayhem.

Despite all of these possibilities, it blossomed into a lifelong hobby...

[More to come in the next post in the series: Growing Up Geeky, Part IV: The TSR Years.]

(*Ah, Riverside. Gods, how I miss that place. It was our first mall. And my first mall. So many of my late-70's childhood memories spring from within its walls. The mere mention of its name brings to mind a flood of memories: from trekking up and down its brown-tiled floors - up ramps and down stairs, past fountains and the giant clock; to lurking in Kay Bee Toys while my mother conducted her business in Ormonds, Barbara Moss, or some other woman's clothing store I couldn't stand to be in; to choosing an iron-on transfer to be steamed onto a t-shirt while we waited in Montgomery Ward (Yes, kids: transfers and tees used to come separately, and you could mix and match at will. Those were the days!); to playing my first video games in the video arcade; to taking the leisurely stroll the length of the mall, which seemed to take hours, as we shopped and window shopped, stopping at the near-halfway point to eat at Burger King. The mall was laid out in one long strip, and the concept of the food court had not reached this area prior to the mall being designed and built; food establishments were scattered around the place. My favorite was "the pizza place," but it was inconveniently located at one end, on one of the entrance wings. Thus, the more centrally located Burger King (before it became "BK" and the king went from a short, cute cartoon character to a creepy "real" person) was the establishment of choice for the lunch break on our Saturday strolls through "The Mall." Riverside was supplanted by a larger, more logically designed mall in 1980, and at the time we all thought the newcomer was better. The Mall died a slow, painful death as a result, and today it has been mostly torn down and replaced by an eyesore of a strip mall. Its rival still stands, but holds far less nostalgic value for me.)

(**I'd equated giant mushrooms with fantasy for many years, long before I'd even seen the cover to B1. In fact, I recall the exact moment when my interest in writing was sparked. It was sixth grade, and the teacher - Mr. King - assigned us a project to write our own piece of fiction. Prior to that moment, I'd never considered that as a possibility. Surely, I'd thought, writers are consummate professionals, and only achieve their status as "Writer" after long years of education and training. But suddenly, I could be a writer. And I would write science-fiction/fantasy. (The two were pretty much synonymous in those days.) In my mind's eye at that very moment, I envisioned vividly a colorful forest of giant mushrooms sprawled out beneath a black blanket dotted with glittering white stars. Yep, giant mushrooms meant fantasy, even then. Maybe it was some lingering Alice in Wonderland influence - although I'd never read that book...)

. . . . .

I Know This Will Destroy My Old-School Geek Cred, But...

2011-12-08T08:16:00.009-05:00

I just thought I'd let my readers know that I've succumbed to the Dark Side*:

It's been about 10 years since I last played an MMORPG. WoW brings me back to my days of hunting ratlings for hunks of cheese in The Realm Online and beta testing Everquest. (And somewhat less happily to the days of spending hours chopping wood to build shields to sell for armor and weapons in Ultima Online, which were ultimately looted from my corpse when I was killed by a chicken or hunted and murdered by player-killers like "Lord CrackHead." Now there was a broken game if there ever was one. Ugh.)

(*And it turns out they don't have cookies, but they do have Crunchy Spider** Surprise.)

(**Seriously, I'm loving the game, but the biggest thing I could fault it on is lack of creativity with their monsters. Seems like no matter what race I've tried, it always comes down to fighting spiders sooner or later...)

. . . . .

Watch Out: I Now Have Access to Third Level Spells!

2011-11-19T10:24:00.004-05:00

I Am A:

Chaotic Neutral Human Sorcerer (5th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength-10
Dexterity-13
Constitution-9
Intelligence-17
Wisdom-17
Charisma-14

Alignment:
Chaotic Neutral A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn't strive to protect others' freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to make those different from himself suffer). A chaotic neutral character may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it. Chaotic neutral is the best alignment you can be because it represents true freedom from both society's restrictions and a do-gooder's zeal. However, chaotic neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it seeks to eliminate all authority, harmony, and order in society.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Note: While I think much of this was spot on, I have to disagree with the class choice. I really think it should have been Wizard, not Sorcerer. Given that I leaned toward a studying component any time a question had one, I'm a bit surprised Sorcerer came up...

. . . . .

My 4E Stormbringer character sheets - let me show you them

2011-11-10T09:40:00.005-05:00

Back to a happier topic than my potential case of clinical depression: Stormbringer.

Still no major discovery in the "Bizarre Case of the Mismatched Rule Books." (Although my strong leaning is toward my newer copy being a crappy POD reprint.) But here for you enjoyment are a couple of slightly modified* Stormbringer 4E character sheet replicas - one for your anti-heroes, another for your anti-heroines:

His:
Hers:
Unisex character sheet back:

*The main change being the addition of the hit locations section - I plan on using the hit location rules from Cthulhu Now.

. . . . .

"And when everything's special, nothing will be..."

2011-11-09T13:45:00.001-05:00

Okay, that's not the exact quote (which would be - I believe: "And when everyone's special, no one will be.")

But it fits the mood, so I'm going to run with it.

I've been thinking lately. Well, maybe "thinking" is too strong a way to describe it. "Subconsciously ruminating until the feelings bubbled through to my conscious thought process" might be a better way to put it. However you package it, the end result is this realization:

Nothing seems fun anymore.

It just seems that the deluge of over-saturation provided by the internet and the massive beast that is entertainment media has washed out the feelings of joy and/or excitement that I used to get from the things I love, be it gaming or genre media. There's just so much stuff out there, it no longer feels special like it once did. I don't get excited anymore at the prospect of something new coming along in the pastimes I once loved. Worse, I often approach gaming sessions with what could better be described as anxiety or dread than anticipation.

Maybe it's just my old age. I've just recently passed the 45-year mark, and I know I'm not the wide-eyed kid I was once, no matter how hard I try to keep that inner child alive. It seems like it's my destiny to become a jaded cynic, and it would just be easier to give up than to keep fighting it.

Maybe it's life in general. Things have been pretty stressful these last few years. I feel like I've been struggling just to keep my head (and my family's heads) above water, enduring seemingly endless worry over bills, concerns about everyone's physical and mental health, turbulence in the workplace, and what feels like incessant waves of people who - regardless of my own calm and relatively harmless nature - keep trying to make my life miserable, whether intentionally or otherwise.

Maybe it's my inability to find friends. I've been struggling for quite some time to find new blood to re-energize my (and my fiancee's) social life. But man, it seems like most of my effort to that end has resulted in nothing but a disappointing waste of time and energy. In my experience, around here it's next to impossible to find people whose hobbies and interests are anything like ours. I can't believe that we're surrounded by so many people that are mind-numbingly mundane. On the very rare occasion that we have found new potential friends, they've generally turned out to be some combination of: controlling, antisocial, mean, rude, persistently negative, socially retarded, divisive, intolerant, self-absorbed, and/or judgmental.

(I know the preceding is hard to believe, and that by saying what I've just said I come across as some sort of elitist jackass. Surely, you may think, you're the one who's broken in this scenario. But take, for example, my place of work - a microcosm of my larger world: I've been working for just shy of 10 years at the same job, and I have made no friends from among my coworkers. Even the IT people, with whom I should logically have at least something in common, have been among the most mundane, uninteresting (and uninterested) people I've ever met. That stereotype of the IT guy/girl being a geek, enthusiastically interested in geek-stuff? Yeah, right. I have a lava lamp on my desk and I drive a New Beetle; these two items alone make me a subject of interest among the people where I work. How sad/scary is that? I'm afraid to even mention that I game - they might put me under glass and charge admission for others to look at me.)

So, yeah, maybe it's not that nothing's special anymore. Maybe it is just me/my life (dis)coloring my perspective. Or maybe it's some combination of the two...

Maybe, to misquote another movie:

"My life needs an enema!"

(It may not matter, because - according to some folks I know - the test of the Emergency Broadcast System that's scheduled to occur in 15 minutes is part of an Obama-led leftist agenda that will result in the US being exposed to attack by Islamic terrorists and the Chinese. I kid you not - these are the sort of people that congregate in my life...)

. . . . .

Stormbringer 4th Edition - WTF?

2011-11-07T16:46:00.007-05:00

So, I find myself with another question for my readers. First, some background:

One of my favorite RPG books is the 4th edition (1990) rule book for Chaosium's Stormbringer. I've had my copy since around 1991 or '92, and I had a really good run of game sessions with my friend Terry (some of which I've previously mentioned in other posts) back in the early 90's. The book saw a fair amount of use, but I never could bring myself to detach the large fold-out map from the rear of the book. To this day, my book is in great condition, map still firmly attached.

Recently, I've found myself longing to run some Stormbringer for my fiancee, and the urge to pull out that map has been strong. In the name of having my cake and eating it, too, I figured I'd purchase a used copy of the 4E rule book on Amazon. They go fairly cheap in good condition, and I thought it'd be worth the $20 or so even if all I got out of the deal was the map.

So, my new-used Stormbringer 4E book arrived in the mail today....

And no map. I know what you're thinking: Some previous owner pulled the map - you should have been prepared for that. Well, Mr./Mrs./Ms. Fancypants, I was prepared for that. But that's not the case.

No, what appears to be the case is that the newcomer is a completely different printing than my existing book. It has a map, but it's the small, one-page map. Furthermore, the dozen or so rear pages in my book are on ivory paper (while the rest of the book's pages are white), but the newcomer's pages are all on white paper. Also, the newcomer's covers are different - they're textured, kind of like the texture of Fantasy Flight Games' boxes; my existing copy's covers are smooth. And the newcomer's back cover is slightly different - the bulleted copy above the bar code is different, and inside a white box.

I at first assumed that I had a different printing - some sort of Stormbringer 4.5 or something. But the ISBN's are identical, and there's no indication anywhere in or on the book that the newcomer is from a different print run (except for the obvious differences in presentation).

So my question to my oh-so-knowledgeable readers is: What the heck is going on? Did Chaosium do a different printing of this book, sans the excellent fold-out map? Did I just get lucky when I purchased my existing copy? Or, is this newcomer a knock-off? Maybe a print-on-demand copy?

I did a lot of research before picking up the book in an attempt to make sure that there weren't variations of it floating around - I was fairly diligent in this, because I didn't want to end up with the wrong book. Nowhere did I see a reference to multiple printings, so now I'm wondering if I should feel poorly used by the seller.

Moreover, I'm, afraid that if I drop any more money on other copies, I'll still fail to get the map. (At this point, I'm seriously considering just picking up a copy of the Elric! board game to plunder it for its color version of the Young Kngdoms map...)

Anybody out there able to shed light on this?

. . . . .

Argh!!! Save v. Exploding Cranium or Die! (A Plea for Help)

2011-09-21T23:15:00.005-04:00

I think I'm about to blow the roll... goggles down! Maybe someone with a better memory than myself can help me keep my brains from being splashed all over the furniture:

Some time ago (meaning more than a week but less than a year) I was perusing a fellow blogger's posts and came across a nifty table of (I think) 30 strange/odd/unique character back stories or origins. Amongst these was one along the lines of "your character's body is not your own" or "you stole the body you're currently in." I had the page bookmarked, but semi-recently had to reformat my PC and forgot to save my bookmarks. (D'oh!) I've spent the better part of the last three hours exercising my expert Google Fu in a desperate search for the page, but to absolutely no avail...

Does this ring a bell with anybody? Please say it does. My fiancee will appreciate it when she doesn't have to try to scrub grey matter out of the sofa cushions.

Edit: Thanks to Art Braune, the half-remembered post has been found at Like Being Read To From Dictionaries. Thanks, Art!

. . . . .

Corporate Greed is Alive and Well in America

2011-09-09T15:35:00.006-04:00

I'm a huge cynic. Ask anybody who knows me and they'll tell you it's true. And my cynicism makes a warm fluffy bed in the topics of politics and business in our "free market" society. It's there, after all, that it feels most comfortable.

Nothing surprises me, especially when it comes to Business as Usual in this country. Greed rules, and the Golden Rule (the people with the gold make the rules) is the only truth when it comes to our society. Like I said: cynic.

But every now and then, something gets under my skin and I get so disgusted by the way corporations and politicians are allowed to act that it makes me want to scream.

Like today, for instance. My son got his Xbox console banned from Xbox Live. He claims innocence, admitting to no wrong-doing on his part. Of course, being the father of two teens, I always take that sort of positioning with a huge dose of skepticism. I've learned my lesson well over the years.

So he got banned, I think. He probably did something to deserve it, and if so I won't defend him.

But here's the first fun part: Microsoft/Xbox Live refuses to tell him why he was banned, so no one in my household can even address the allegations that resulted in the action. Whuh-huh? I get the whole privacy thing, but what's the point in keeping it secret from the primary person involved???

Then comes the next insult: not only is he not allowed access to Xbox Live, but he doesn't get reimbursed for the amount of time he has left on his subscription. I know I'm supposed to be cynical and jaded, but (excuse the forthcoming curse): what the fuck?!

In what universe did it become legal for a business to take payment for services, then cancel those services without offering the customer at least a prorated reimbursement of their payment? Last I knew, a business that failed to provide a paid-for service was breaking the law. Were this my local newspaper, I'd have had them in court and gotten my money back by now. So where does Microsoft get off?

Microsoft claims that he agreed to this arrangement when accepting the terms of service, but that's just utter bullshit. If he'd also agreed in the ToS to forfeiting his right index finger, would it be legal for them to lop it off? Uh... no. Just because your contract says you can do something doesn't make that thing legal, Mr. Shylock. Er, I mean Gates.

What's worse, when threatened with legal action, the Microsoft customer service folks do the audible equivalent of shrugging their shoulders and quite literally say: "So what?"

So, my cynicism showed its limitations today. I'm sitting here bemused and bewildered, wondering why no one's doing a damn thing about a company that takes payments for services, then cancels said services without reimbursement or proof of the violation(s) that caused said cancellation. It's a great scam. But if you or I tried to do that, we'd be in jail for fraud.

C'mon people. It's time stop putting up with this crap. Our corporate masters have had the yokes on us long enough, don't you think? I remember the days when people used to do something when they got fed up with stuff. Days when people in this country acted like their spirits hadn't been ground into the dirt. I swear, our forefathers threw tea in a harbor for less than we tolerate on a daily basis. Where have those Americans gone?

Let's try something a little fresher in our memories: Remember disco? I'm sure you do. Remember the huge "Disco Sucks" rally? It still gets covered on cable TV, despite being a one-off happening 30 years ago. So here's what I say we do: anybody who's got a beef with Microsoft, gather up your Windows discs, banned Xbox-es, Zunes, or whatever piece of M$ dreck you wish to dispose of and let's all get together and toss them into a huge bonfire under a banner proclaiming "Microsoft Sucks!"

Hell, if the fire gets big enough, maybe even old Shylock of Redmond will feel a tremor in the Force...

On eBay: Call of Cthulhu 25th Anniversary Edition

2011-08-13T15:04:00.002-04:00

I only have a few items left on eBay, including my treasured Call of Cthulhu 25th Anniversary hardcover:

. . . . .

Look - I Participated in an Internet Meme!

2011-07-29T13:28:00.011-04:00

Mark the date - I usually avoid these things like the plague. But I just had to know how I'd do at The World's Hardest Gary Gygax Quiz. (First, it's a quiz... on the internets. Second, it's a quiz... on the internets... about Gygax. Damn you, blog of holding.) And, surprisingly, I did better than 50%. I guess all of those hours spent reading Grognardia finally proved useful... er, sort of.

Chris took the Hardest Gary Gygax Quiz in the World and got 70%!

You are a Gary Gygax Champion. If knowledge of the minutiae of Gary Gygax's life translated to political power, you would be the satrap of a continent-sized province, owing allegiance to no one (except maybe that Grognardia guy).

Paladin Code: You completed this quiz without using Google.

Average scores for this SUPER HARD QUIZ are 77% for people who used Google and 48% for people who did not, so you did really well.
(How can you get less than 100% when you use Google to cheat?? Sounds like 23% of Google users need to spend more time at the dojo working on their google-fu.)

[My] Answers:
What's Gary Gygax's birthday? (Hint: IT'S TODAY)
Redacted is correct!

What's Gary Gygax's first name?
Redacted is correct!

Which of these words does NOT appear in the AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide?
Redacted is correct! For once, even though Redacted used it, Gygax didn't follow suit.

What does TSR stand for?
Redacted is correct!

What's the name of the planet that contains Greyhawk?
Redacted is correct!

Along with Gary, who was the cofounder of TSR?
Redacted is correct!

Gary Gygax DID NOT write or cowrite rules for which of the following games?
Correct! Redacted was all Redacted.

Gary once worked at what medieval trade?
Redacted is incorrect! Maybe you're thinking of every other nerd ever who Redacted his own Redacted.
(I'm fairly certain I know this - I just can't conjure it right now.)

Which of the following was one of Gary Gygax's D&D PCs?
Incorrect!Redacted is the Redacted in the Redacted.
(I'm kind of ashamed of myself - I really should have gotten this one. But I panicked and my mind went totally blank...)

Gord the Rogue has a barbarian friend. What's his name?
Redacted is incorrect!

Bonus: What's the name of the axe used by Gord the Rogue's barbarian friend?
Redacted is incorrect! But I don't blame you; no one could have gotten this question right.

. . . . .

My Other Other Project

2011-07-15T11:32:00.008-04:00

So, the gaming has finally slowed from a trickle to a dead halt.

Partially, this is because I've become extremely disenchanted with the local gaming scene (see comments in my last couple of posts). I'm just not getting any enjoyment from gaming anymore.

But this is also because I've been focused lately on my latest undertaking: my fiancee and I have been working for some months on getting a niche marketing communications agency off the ground. After much prep and planning, yesterday was the official start of business. So (warning: crass commercialism ahead) if you or anyone you know is in the entertainment/writing industry - specifically the horror/sci-fi/fantasy/paranormal/etc. genres - and needs help with their new media marketing or personal branding efforts or website design, please check us out:

Spook House Media

. . . . .

Dark World Update

2011-06-28T12:13:00.005-04:00

Well, since my attempt to earn a few measly cents on my Dark World map went over like a lead balloon, I figured I might as well make the electronic version free. (It was either that or take it down altogether, and I'd rather people got some use out of it than it just sit - unused -on my hard drive.) So, click the preview image below to go to Lulu to download it, if you like:

. . . . .

Happy Star Wars Day!

2011-05-04T15:28:00.003-04:00

In honor of Star Wars Day, my favorite Star Wars poster:

. . . . .

Farewell, Sarah Jane

2011-04-20T12:06:00.003-04:00

Elisabeth Sladen

1948-2011

. . . . .

Scanning Project: Dunwich? (Call of Cthulhu)

2011-04-06T13:20:00.012-04:00

I still remember the moment (although not the date) that I discovered the Call of Cthulhu role-playing game. Don't get me wrong: I had been aware of the game for some time, having seen ads for it in a text-only mail-order catalog I had from some now-forgotten source, as well as in my copies of Dragon magazine.

However, by the mid-80's, I wasn't reading Dragon as much as I had a few years earlier - when I didn't even know what the heck a "Cthulhu" was, and had never before heard the name "H.P. Lovecraft." (I'd actually seen the name Cthulhu before I got into the hobby, in a 1979 issue of Starlog. Towards the back of the magazine were a couple of pages devoted to an "upcoming" movie, "Cry of Cthulhu." I paid those pages vary little attention until the middle of the following decade, however.) I didn't discover Lovecraft until 1985, by which point I'd long since forgotten my passing brushes with the Call of Cthulhu RPG. And, although I'd also recently discovered my first horror RPG, the idea of playing a purely Lovecraftian game hadn't occurred to me. (Although, admittedly, much of the material I'd produced for my Chill campaign - which was never played - had a strong weird horror influence, thanks to the Old Gent from Providence.)

(On the other hand, I had always found myself slightly thrilled by the ads for Grenadier's Call of Cthulhu miniatures. I can still vividly recall them, with their dark look and feel, their hardy Indiana Jones-type hero, their cool miniatures for the same and for a scholarly type, and the evocative box art. My induction into Dungeons & Dragons had - as I've mentioned before - been through miniatures, and the painted miniatures and dioramas were my favorite part of any Dragon magazine that featured them. But, even before I knew what they were for, the Grenadier Call of Cthulhu miniature ads superseded these features by far. Sadly, I never managed to find any of these boxes of miniatures back in the day. It wasn't until just last year that I managed to come into ownership of one - the Adventurers set - and I cherish it, beaten and battered as the box is.)

Between college classes, circa 1986(?), I wandered into the local B. Dalton bookstore (back when the local mall actually had two bookstores, which is two more than it's had for the last 15 years or so; this speaks volumes about the area in which I live) as I made my usual rounds: hit the bookstores and peruse their science fiction/fantasy and RPG sections, and hit the toy store and peruse its game section (back then, you still had a fair chance of locating RPG's in KayBee Toys).

The day in question, I wandered to the back right corner of the store and found the usual (the contents of which I don't recall exactly, but were likely mostly composed of various D&D rule books and supplements). I was about to leave, as I hadn't expected much more, when I glanced up at the top shelf, which I'd previously neglected. There sat a hardcover book, noticeably taller then all of the D&D books, and featuring a dark cover with the words "Call of Cthulhu" standing out in striking yellow contrast. My heart leaped as I snatched the book down and began leafing through it.

I remember the accommodating feel of the ivory pages, the evocative black-and-white artwork - and then, the page that sold me on the book: one of the full-color plates, a ghoul climbing from a pit:

Upon seeing this illustration, I was immediately transported back to one of my first Lovecraft readings, "Pickman's Model." More page flipping yielded more and more moving artwork, including the disturbing "Groglin Vampire":

I don't recall much after my initial discovery/re-acquaintance, except for spending that night and the several after it devouring the game. I fell in love with the game that day, a love that continues even now. (I have two copies of that book now, which are the pride and joy of my gaming collection, along with a pristine copy of the boxed set from the same edition. These days, when I think of the game, it's the excellent cover of that Games Workshop edition that immediately springs to mind.)

It wasn't until my role playing renaissance of the late 80's that I actually got to run a game of Call of Cthulhu. Initially, I was intimidated by the game; not by the rules themselves, but by the setting. Primarily, the problem was that I felt the need to run it in its default 1920's setting, but was utterly daunted by the prospect of running a "historical" game. (The third-edition core rule book, which is what I had purchased, had yet to include specific rules for running the game in other eras. Current editions include the basics needed to run the game in the 1890's and modern day, as well as the 20's. Back in the day, however, these eras required a little home brewing, or the Gaslight and Cthulhu Now handbooks, respectively.)

My inability to run a game, however, didn't preclude me from making materials for it. I was a map-making fiend for much of the mid-to-late-80's (and into the 90's - I've lost much of that creative juice over the last decade, however) and after my Top Secret phase of the mid-80's I turned to horror. I began making maps of churches, graveyards, crypts, and old houses, and their environs, as well as entire towns. My second town map was my spin on Arkham (I'll post that later), but my first - posted here - was my take on Dunwich. Mind you, my Dunwich lacked the decrepit, backwoods New England vibe of Lovecraft's squalid little hamlet. Instead, it was more West Coast - probably due to it being as heavily influenced by the movie "Fright Night" as much as it was by Lovecraft:

This map saw play twice. The first time was in my home-brew Top Secret/Villains & Vigilantes/Chill mash-up. With a plot that was also liberally lifted from the aforementioned horror flick, and heroes that were more like super-heroes, the game I ran for my nephew (and played in, just as I had in all of our D&D and Top Secret games) was a blast, as our agents hunted down and terminated with extreme prejudice Mr. Jerry Dandridge, vampire.

My Dunwich map didn't see use again until 1989 (IIRC), when it was featured in my very first attempt to run Call of Cthulhu. Still nervous about the historical nature of the setting, I nonetheless resolved to run it for my new game group, as we were knee-deep in horror role-playing. The scenario found a trio of intrepid Investigators (Call of Cthulhu's name for player characters, for those not in the know) looking into disappearances in the town.

I'd recently read Lovecraft's "Lurking Fear," and was struck by the mental images many of the scenes in that story had conjured for me. In particular, the scene where the narrator spends the night (if only partially) in the old Martense mansion - and loses his big, strong bodyguards to lurking terrors - stuck in my mind, and I labored to build a scenario that would find my players' characters in a similar predicament.

Of course, being players, they didn't act as I'd hoped: their characters didn't opt to spend the night in the mansion, which is featured prominently on the map. (cough-cough-bastards!-cough) Instead, they staked out the mansion from the "safety" of their car on the street outside. Despite their attempts to derail the sanity chiseling I'd planned for them, they were compelled to follow a suspicious dark shape into the sewers after it had attacked their car in the moonlight. (Thus the sewer plans on the back side of the map, added years after its initial creation.) The trail led them into a series of tight, crudely dug passages (thank you, Martense family!), and - ultimately - to the larder of a pack of ghouls. Much sanity, blood, and spent brass was spilt upon the earthen floor of that chamber.

To this very day, the atmosphere of that session has got to be one of the most memorable of any game I've ever played. It cemented my love for Call of Cthulhu.

I've since run several sessions of Call of Cthulhu, and I've found that -with the proper players, people willing to immerse themselves in the role of everyday people swept up by nightmarish winds - it invariably produces some of the most memorable "this one time, in a game" stories for those involved.

I find Call of Cthulhu to be one of those rare RPG gems: a game system that is fully functional, flexible, and - best of all - stays out of the way when it's not needed. Too many games force their way into game play, whether in the name of expanded functionality, player empowerment, enhanced story, or whatever. Not so, Call of Cthulhu. The game does what it needs to - no more and no less. I find it to be a brilliant piece of RPG design, an opinion testified to by the fact that its five (soon to be six - yay!) subsequent editions have only made the most minor of changes to their predecessors.

Now, if I could just get someone else to run a game of Call of Cthulhu for me...

. . . . .

Scurvy Scallywag Saturday

2011-04-02T15:49:00.003-04:00

Ever wonder what sort of pirate ye'd be? Well, wonder no more, ya' scurvy dog - thanks to this little quiz, yer wonderin' days be over!

Not that I ever doubted it, but in case yer wonderin': I be yer Cap'n:

Some men and women are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any scalawag who stands between them and unlimited power. You never met a man - or woman - you couldn't eviscerate. You are the definitive Man of Action, the CEO of the Seven Seas, Lee Iacocca in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. You're mission-oriented, and if anyone gets in the way, that's his problem, now isn't? Your buckle was swashed long ago and you have never been so sure of anything as your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off his head if he shows any sign of taking you on or backing down. If one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site.

"Self-absorbed," says ye? "Keel haul the lubber!" says I!

Arrrrrr.

. . . . .

Saturday Surreality Check

2011-03-26T06:47:00.002-04:00

Oh, Yeah - It's St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T09:06:00.008-04:00

But not in my home. You see, my home is a St. Patrick's Day-free zone.

Being a typical American, I never gave much thought to St. Patrick's Day when I was younger. Like most of us, I saw it as just an excuse to wear green, pretend to be Irish (regardless of any real heredity to back it up) and - most importantly - consume large quantities of alcoholic beverages while doing the same with other green-clad "Irish" folks.

As the years passed, I came to understand what people were really talking about when they said "St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland." Actually, I was ultimately kind of surprised that the man's holy day engendered so much celebration:

In all likelihood the whole tale is some sort of allegory for "cleansing" Ireland of Druid worship (which worked well, except for the annual Druidic Wickerman festival in Ireland; the festival dates to before Patrick and attracts hundreds of thousands of people every year. I guess not all the snakes are gone!)

(You can read more of this amusing article here: http://www.infidels.org/kiosk/article272.html. It's worth a read.)

I grew to realize I really had no interest in celebrating St. Patty's Day, given what it really stands for. Now that I share my life with an Irish lass - straight from County Cork, and from a family with a verbally passed Druidic tradition (turns out Patty missed a few of those "snakes") - my position on this day has been firmly cemented.

Besides, it seems to me that whole idea of using the name of a religious zealot as an excuse to party is a little... unnecessary. After all, if I want to get together with others and pretend I'm from a magical, far-off land while drinking beer, I can do that any day I want. And I can pretend to be an elf or a magic-user while I do it!

. . . . .

Hot Elf Chicks with Swords!

2011-03-10T08:26:00.006-05:00

Taking a cue from James at The Underdark Gazette, here's a post with the sole intention of drawing folks to the OSR blogosphere. It's a slice of sheer internet marketing brilliance: use hot elf chicks to lure Google (and presumably other) searchers to our little neck of the woods.

So, as promised, I present a couple of elf chicks with swords:

I've decided to take James' idea just a step further, though, and use this post to stack the keyword deck, so to speak. After all, the idea of drawing folks to suckle at the large supple white breasts of the OSR really is something that even Charlie Sheen should be willing to spill a little tiger blood over, don't you think? So what if it means talking about posting sexy pics of naked elf girls? It's just a little healthy adult entertainment - nothing kinky. And you won't find videos of elf girl-on-girl action (nothing bisexual, just good, old-fashioned bi-winning!) or dwarf women with big butts here; just good, clean stuff that even Megan Fox would be proud to sit with Justin Bieber and read while they listen to Lady Gaga. There's no need to have a Mel Gibson moment. Oh, and who knows - maybe some day the OSR will expand to include Android and iPhone apps and free ringtones. It could happen...

Yep, that's the OSR.

If you just found us via your favorite search engine:

Welcome! Okay, so you probably didn't find what you were looking for, but since you're here you might as well take a look at all the great things the OSR has to offer. Take a look at the blog roll over there on the right - it's full of great gaming blogs, each in itself chock full of brilliant ideas from some really imaginative and creative people. And it's growing daily. (And we even have our own porn stars.)

So take a break from your search for porn or entertainment news or free stuff for your smartphone and go, explore. The rest will still be there when you get back...

(It's too bad James' idea didn't fall closer to the end of the month because it occurs to me that this would be a great April Fool's post. Oh, well - I'll just have to come up with something else for that special day.)

[Edit: BTW, it should be noted that I normally avoid internet - especially OSR - memes like the plague. But this one was just too good to pass up!]

. . . . .

At the Mountains of Madness - Dead in the (Frozen) Water?

2011-03-09T13:08:00.006-05:00

It seems that Universal has pulled the plug on Guillermo del Toro's At the Mountains of Madness project. They've been dangling the AtMoM carrot in front of del Toro since well before Hellboy II, promising that they'd produce the film after the next movie. Several movies later, it finally looked as though - with James Cameron coming aboard - Universal was going to make good on their promise. (There was even word of Tom Cruise being attached to the film, which - although it scared many a fanboy - could only have been a good thing as far as studio bigwigs were concerned.)

Well, at the last minute, the studio has backed out, and the film hangs once again in limbo.

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of studios going after low-hanging fruit, churning out "blockbusters" that, after viewing them, leave you wondering where you spent the last two hours while thoughtful, meaningful films are few and far between.

Not that it will matter to Hollyweird, but I've signed an online petition to get this film made. You should, too:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/mountainsofmadness/

The Universal execs should be careful: AtMoM lies on the shelf dead but dreaming. After all, that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons someone else may help del Toro get this film made, and then they'll be screwed.

. . . . .

More Captcha-Inspired Henchmen (Order of the D30)

2011-03-04T08:00:00.003-05:00

Sorry, I just couldn't stop at 30. Here's another list of misfitted minions:

Loghfu - He's deadly when wielding firewood.
Heetmed - He's a little dyslexic and a lot dumb.
Obulent - What? It's a perfectly promulent name.
Nutjahb - He's not crazy - his mother had him tested.
Prias - Between meals, he can walk twice as far as any other henchmen.
Cherrip - His pants have tears at the top of each pant leg. You don't want to be behind him when he bends over.
Soccineye - He's a little confrontational, and every argument ends the same way.
Ozoan - She's just a little spacey.
Gyrojigli - She's out to prove that there's nothing wrong with heavy belly dancers.
Subhort - If your fellow PC's are cohorts, this is a perfect name for a henchman.
Uriastoses - I don't know what it is or how he caught it, but it doesn't sound like fun. "God, my penis hurts when I urinate."
Biltslo - He's a loyal henchman, but don't let him set up the tent - you'll be waiting all night.
Tredo - He has a "thing" for saplings.
Miasmer - He's surrounded by a perpetual cloud of stink. Keep him away from the pork and beans.
Dismor - Keep him away from any depressed party members, lest they become suicidal. "It'll rain, I shouldn't wonder."
Mingdula - She henches to pay her way through med school, so she can become a brain chirurgeon. "It's right below the cerabulum, which is near the omnipitol globe."
Arthur - He henches to pay for part-time accounting classes. His battle cry: "Not the face! Not the face!"
Seisit - He moonlights as a motivational speaker.
Outamybloni - He's very protective of his lunch meats.
Phertawl - Keep your less chaste party members away from her, unless they want children.
Explorco - He keeps pitching his plan to create an LLC and turn the party into a franchise.
Bermen - Explorco's partner, has plans to expand the franchise until people are so sick of it that they're ready to puke at the mere mention of its name.
Whaman - He has a tendency to repeat the last syllable of each sentence. Be sure to wake him up before you go go.
Tonibazl - She's too old to dress like that, and she has a stalkerific thing for some guy named "Mickey."
Undic - He's an abrasive henchman from France.
Amega - He was once more popular than his father, the Commodore, and his grandfather, Vic, but has since become obsolete in the henching field.
Hemshic - He has some fabulous ideas to modernize the party's "drab and lifeless ensembles."
Ploshie - He always wears furry animal skins, and has a "thing" for others who do the same.
Imaterd - Sorry, my brain froze on this one; believe it or not, that's a letter-for-letter lift from Captcha.
Deend - Dat's it - dat's all she wrote.

. . . . .

Captcha-Inspired Henchmen (Order of the D30)

2011-03-03T08:56:00.019-05:00

I've posted a couple of Captcha-inspired name lists before, and I thought I'd do it again. But I didn't want to post "just another list" - I wanted to make something a little more... entertaining. So, here's a D30 list of henchmen, each with his or her own quirk. Each of these is taken from Captcha's word-verification system, although a few have had a letter or two changed to fit the bill. Hopefully, this will add a little humorous entertainment to your players' next hiring session:

Nomap - Whatever you do, don't let this guy serve as your dungeon mapper.
Slymes - Ask this guy about his collection. Go ahead - I dare ya!
Laziboi - Good luck getting your money's worth out of this guy.
Suxplode - Ask him about his John Belushi imitation.
Perpo - Keep him away from your valuables.
Purvo - Perpo's bro - keep him away from your women.
Scench - Better stock up on those little pine-tree air fresheners before the next dungeon crawl.
Mytopy - The lowest paid wilderness scout in history.
Satedd - She spends a lot of time lying in bed, smoking cigarettes.
Skidwo - The lowest paid wagon driver in history.
Pookase - Don't ask him what he keeps in that stinky wooden box - he just might show you!
Hatearbl - "What's an 'arbl'?" you ask? Get ready for a five-hour diatribe...
Frothlot - The town's token madman. Works for free for anybody that's ~~stupid enough~~ willing to take him on.
Hylybagi - Is there anything that guy can't hide in the folds of his clothes?
Knoknoc - The jokes never cease...
Ablepa - He may be older than dirt, but he can get the job done.
Sincess - Says she a princess whose royal family has been exiled from a foreign land. She just "entertains" to keep food on the table.
Ashnudg - One of those guys who sits in silence, poking the edge of the fire with his toe.
Cutm - Don't cross this guy or you may wake up one morning a little short on genitalia.
Zipnada - She's hot, but the temperature drops to absolute zero when she's nearby.
Cupical - She's always trying to play matchmaker for the party members.
Edgerts - His skin looks a little loose. "Is this better?"
Frigno - Don't make him angry - you wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Nuturt - When he's not complaining about his "discomfort," he's "adjusting" himself.
Dialises - I got nothin'. But the name's just too good not to include in this list.
Bootia - Henchwoman. 'Nuff said.
Crefufio - Was a top interior designer before the bad economy forced him to take up henching.
Dicro - Claims to be well endowed. To prove it, he often tells a story about being adrift in a rowboat with no paddle.
Unksel - Has a hereditary, ubbi-dubbi-ish speech impediment. Ask him about his nsieces and nsephews.
Greenicci - Not sure what she's got, but it's emerald-hued and highly contagious.

. . . . .

Scanning Project: Gilbert Island (Call of Cthulhu/Bureau 13)

2011-03-01T19:14:00.017-05:00

As promised in my last post, here's a bit of my gaming history: a map and list of NPC's, originally created for TriTac's Bureau 13: Stalking the Night Fantastic and ported (much) later to Call of Cthulhu.

I first ran the Gilbert Island scenario during my Gaming Renaissance^TM. I'm not sure of the exact date, but it must have been mid-1991 or thereabouts. It was during this period that I really began to explore new gaming systems (and nurturing the seeds that would eventually germinate into a life-long case of of Gamer ADD). Before this, my gaming experience had mostly been limited to the ubiquitous TSR boxed sets (Moldvay D&D and Top Secret seeing the most action, but I had them all); Villians & Vigilantes and Chill being the notable exceptions. But in 1989 (IIRC) I was introduced to several people who would be the core of my gaming group for the next decade, and to a game that would reinvigorate my love for all things horror, especially horror RPG's: Beyond the Supernatural. (More on this later; I'll never forget that first BtS game, and the character I made for it - well, we'll save that for an upcoming post...)

Eventually, BtS led me to Bureau 13.

At this point in time, B13 was the go-to game for our group. We'd gather in my second-floor flat at least once a week, generally on Friday night after I concluded the 40-hour work week at my craptacular job as a stock clerk at the local grocery store. My friends and I would play all night, then they' most likely end up crashing in the living room - and we'd continue gaming through the following Saturday. At least once a month, this would evolve into a weekend-long affair, with everybody finally retiring to their respective abodes on Sunday evening.

Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway) we played a lot of B13. I can't remember every B13 game we played. That's saying a lot, since I can remember most of the games of D&D I played in the decade prior. But we played so many games of B13, I just can't recall them all.

The characters, on the other hand - these I remember well. From paranoid-schizo Virgil Greene, to crotchety old Father William Aeon Fox, to Ezra Fielding (poor Ezra, those B13 hit location tables were unmerciful to that boy's genitalia), to Fred Carter - oh, wait, later post. /wink/ Even the NPC's became memorable, as the campaign evolved from a poorly fleshed out rip-off of Chaosium's "Arkham Unveiled" into a living, breathing thing. There was Julie, the clerk at my then-fiancee's/later wife's/even later ex-wife's PC's antique shop. (Liberally lifted from Friday the 13th: The Series.) There was Ray, the hitman sent to kill the PC's, only to discover what they did for a "living" (although it didn't pay so well - or at all) and change to their side. There was Dave Dietrich, local police sergeant (later captain) who knew more about the seedy underside of Arkham than he wished to.

And then there were the nemeses. From the mundane (Special Agent Braddox, FBI) to the psychotic (Dr. Lazarus Kane) to the supernatural (the list is long, but unquestionably topped by the demon Forcas, who was cleverly defeated by the PC's on multiple occasions - his loss of face among his peers is the topic of amusing discussion at almost every B13 session).

Gilbert Island was one of the memorable sessions.

The PC's were sought out by a distraught mother to help her find her missing son (because they were the Winchesters of the B13 campaign world). After a bit of "bippity-boppity-boo" by the group's necromancer/demonolator, it was determined (via a little communing with the spirit world) that the boy had been spirited away to a small island off the Maine coast. With little knowledge of the island, the PC's beat feet to the coast of Maine. They then began interacting with the NPC's I'd prepped for the game:

Over the course of the game (which must have been one of our all-day sessions, given how much ground the players and their characters covered) many of the NPC's took on lives of their own. The PC's learned of the shady Gil Kramer and his huge partner, the odd-looking Reggie Black. They made friends with the local lighthouse keeper, Jack Kelly, and his wife, Polly. They befriended happy librarian Connie Dillinford.

After much investigation, they staked out the cliff-side home of Gil Kramer. His odd and secretive behavior, combined with the hostile demeanor of his thug, Reggie, led the players to believe that the two were somehow involved in the missing child's disappearance. When, early one morning, they spied the pair coming up from Kramer's private dock lugging an unwieldy bagged something, they sprang into action. What ensued was a complete Charlie Foxtrot, ending with copious amounts of automatic weapons fire from the kidnappers and returned copious amounts of pistol fire from the PC's. Oops, wrong suspects. The something in the bag wasn't the boy, as the players had believed; it was a huge cache of marijuana, fresh from Kramer's Canadian connection. Scratch two drug dealers - and the PC's were no closer to locating the boy.

After further investigation, the PC's found themselves on the beach below the lighthouse, interviewing "crazy old Zed Blake" at his beach-side shack. There, the PC's got an earful; they learned about the dark secret of Gilbert Island and its residents' Innsmouth-esque pact with the Deep Ones that dwelt offshore. As they began to realize the bear trap into which they'd stepped, they watched in horror as Zed's head exploded into a fine red mist. Turns out, Polly - the lighthouse keeper's wife - was one of the descendants of the island's original inhabitants, the Gilbert family itself. And was a Deep One hybrid - with a high-powered rifle, amazing aim, and a complete view of the beach from her perch upon the light. A really lucky shot from one of the PC's weapons eliminated the threat from the Lone Gunman, and gave the PC's leave to exit the beach - via Zed's battered old boat - as the Deep Ones stepped from the surf on the other side.

A harried flight (not literally - they were in a mother-fucking boat) later they made landfall on the rocky coast of Maine, on Death's front stoop from GSW's, Deep One claw wounds, and exposure. The boy - they later discovered - had been dead since before they set foot on Gilbert Island. (Those damn spirits can be so literal. Yes, he was on the island - in a sense.) They'd lost before they'd even started playing the game...

That's how I'll always remember Gilbert Island.

I retooled the game for Call of Cthulhu (as you can see by some of the scribble son the NPC sheet) to run for a different group - half-filled with unfamiliar faces - a decade later. Unfortunately, those newbies didn't know my gaming style. They were apparently used to having an adversarial relationship with their gamemaster. They didn't know that I wasn't out to kill them arbitrarily, using the rules as an accomplice. (That's never been my style. My players sink or swim on their own. I'm never out to get them - I just want to have fun, and to do so the players have to have fun, as well.) This led to a confrontational game, and players who couldn't enjoy the session because they were waiting for me to drop the hammer. More's the shame...

Anyway, there you go. Gilbert Island - a piece of my gaming history and a bevy of fond memories. Enjoy.

. . . . .

In Which I Put Up a Post Using "In Which" in the Title Because It Sounds So Cool

2011-03-01T15:12:00.004-05:00

It occurs to me that it's been a Very Long Time since I posted anything of real use to my readers here. I apologize for this - and for the necessity of allowing crass commercialism to invade my blog. (A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, ya know?)

It also occurs to me that, since my move last fall, I have access to much of my older gaming materials - stuff I haven't had available to me since the end of 2008, shortly before I founded this blog.

So, I'm going to rectify the former situation by exploiting the latter situation. Namely, I'm going to get off my gluteus maximus and scan more of my old maps and such for your consumption.

Watch this space...

. . . . .

Woo-hoo! I'm Now a Pundit!

2011-02-13T11:02:00.004-05:00

At long last, I've broken 160 followers! (Thank you, tzunder!)

What this means is that - according to Trey's "Old School RPG Blogger Advancement Table" - I've finally reached level 7: pundit.

Good thing, too - I was getting ready to go kill some cattle for those few extra XP's. /wink

So now I just need to round up another 480 followers so I can reach "name" level and build my fortress...

(An aside: as always, please be sure to check out my eBay auctions. I'm still liquidating much of my gaming collection to offset the recent blow to my budget. I'm parting with a lot of good stuff, so please take a look. Thanks!)

. . . . .

Dark World: Alignment and You!

2011-02-11T10:08:00.005-05:00

I've been doing some thinking about how I will use alignment in my Dark World campaign. Thanks to this post on the In Places Deep blog, I've decided to put pen to paper (or rather, fingers to keyboard) and get some of these thoughts down - before they fall out of my brain again.

I'm going to be using B/X to run the campaign. (Assuming I ever find any interested players; anybody else freezing their posteriors off here in CNY interested in some old-school, Moldvay/Cook gaimng?) That means a Law/Neutrality/Chaos alignment system.

That does not, however, mean a Good/Neutral/Evil system. These aren't what I would strictly define as alignments - they're moral ideologies, as the Moldvay Basic rules define them, IMO. And I don't plan on using rules to manage character morality.

No, I want character morality to come from the players (and the DM, in the case of NPC's). I don't want some vague set of rules regarding strict moral codes determining if someone should kill a sleeping kobold, or save a damsel instead of using her to distract the dragon while he steals its loot. I want morality to come from play and from the players. That feels more natural to me, and more interesting.

I plan to use alignment in a much more literal sense: with which belief system does the character in question align him- or herself? These systems - Law, Neutrality (not really a system of belief, but more of the absence of one of the others) and Chaos - will be more like their counterparts in the Stormbringer RPG. Here, Law and Chaos are not reflective of one's adherence to any moral code as much as they are reflective of adherence to or defiance of a structured universe.

The Lawful character believes that the "natural" order is one of rules and regulations, of balance and justice - regardless of the consequences. The Gods of Law are strict, just (often to a fault), slow to act but swift to rebuke those who disobey the order they embody.

The Chaotic character believes in randomness and entropy, in a universe where balance and justice are nothing but wishful thinking. The Gods of Chaos are carefree and whimsical - oft-times dangerously so - and care little for the concept of cause and effect.

Any character who is not aligned to one of these systems is of Neutral alignment. There are no Gods of Neutrality. (Although the Risen Gods, those who have "been promoted from the ranks" - so to speak - of mortal men, may be of any alignment. However, as most true believers in Dark World will be quick to point out, the Risen Gods are not true gods. Their power waxes and wanes as belief in them does the same. Only the True Gods of Law and Chaos are forever.)

In terms of morality, none of these systems dictates any moral code. For example, a Lawful character may be the most vile evil-doer in all the land and still be a devout adherent to Law. He may even use his Lawful beliefs to excuse his own evil actions.

In Dark World, only humans use the terms "Law" and "Chaos" when talking about their beliefs. Other races may follow gods or have belief systems that fall into one of these human systems, but their followers have no concept of this universal dichotomy that humans have constructed.

The elves in Dark World, for instance, have no gods. They do, however, have a system of belief that holds that the universe is cold and impartial, and that natural forces always achieve balance in some form or another. In this sense, all elves are Lawful from a human perspective. (Elves in my Dark World campaign are not the tree-hugging elves of common thought; nor are they Tolkien-esque emo-rtals. They are distant, otherworldly creatures, beings that embody the essence of magic in their utterly alien nature and demeanor.)

Dwarves, on the other hand, are believers in the four elements as intelligent forces. They see them as capricious universal powers, helpful one moment and destructive the next - with no predictability toward either state. To them, the universe is as likely to help you as it is to squash you underfoot. Thus, life is to be lived to the fullest in all aspects - making them Chaotic in the human worldview. (Dark World dwarves are artisans and craftsmen beyond compare. However, the same deep passion for life that feeds this artistic nature can take on a destructive aspect, making some dwarves among the hardest drinkers, the most violent warriors, etc.)

Other creatures follow similar lines. Sometimes, they cannot easily be lumped into the human alignment system, but that system is vague enough to - usually - adequately represent a creature's nature. The farther a creature is removed from humanity, the less likely it is to be identified with Law or Chaos. These creatures are then - by default - Neutral.

With regards to the blog post I mentioned at the start of this piece, wherein the author, Evan, wonders at how to fit devils and demons into the B/X alignment system, here's my take: devils and demons have no alignment to Law or Chaos, nor any belief system that could be squeezed into those molds, making them neutral entities in the human worldview. They are beyond such concepts.

However, if they're the devils and demons of "classic" D&D, they may be considered to align themselves with Law (for the former) and Chaos (for the latter), as these are the L/N/C components of their nine-point alignment. Since Law does not equal good and Chaos does not equal evil, the distinction of a "Lawful" devil does not create a problem. They're both still evil, it's just that one group of creatures believes in balance and justice (not to be confused with fairness) while the other believes in randomness.

I hope some of this makes sense...

. . . . .

More Crass Commercialism: Milton Bradley's Heroquest (Ending Soon!)

2011-02-05T11:46:00.000-05:00

I discovered Heroquest shortly after it came out, and let me just say: I loved the Hell out of this game! I look back fondly at the late nights (early mornings?) spent playing marathon games of HQ, throwing character after character into the meat grinder in repeated desperate attempts to just make it to the next quest. Ah, those were the days...

The game was later replaced by Advanced Heroquest, and - ultimately - Warhammer Quest. Having played (and loved) WHQ, it's hard to appreciate its forefather as much as I once did, but Heroquest will always hold a spot in my heart.

Anyway, the car that's been plaguing my finances for the last few months finally bought the farm, costing me yet more money from my budget - money I don't have. In a desperate attempt to offset this blow to my bank account, I've put my virtually unused back-up copy of the game up for auction, including the expansions I own and all of the HQ minis I could dig up. (See the pic below.) Please have a look - and, as always, thanks for your support.

Edit: I've added more item to my eBay listings, including a 2nd edition-era Warhammer 40K Eldar army, the 2nd edition Kult rule book, "Beyond the Mountains of Madness", and more.

2/3/2011: I've just added the Runequest 3rd Edition Deluxe rulebook to my listings.

. . . . .

Sure, You're a Nerd - But Do You Have the Shirt to Prove It?

2011-01-12T14:12:00.006-05:00

If not, I've just added what you're looking for to my Zazzle shop:

. . . . .

Just a Few Hours Left...

2011-01-11T10:17:00.009-05:00

...On my listings on eBay - featuring a number of like-new, third-edition-era GURPS books, as well as Kult second edition and Delta Green first printing (each of which is hard to find, especially in such pristine condition - and usually runs around $100 when you're lucky enough to come across a copy).

Sorry for the crass commercialism, but desperate times and all that. Thank you for your patience. I'd also say "Thank you for your support," but I don't want to sound like a Bartles & Jaymes ad. (Let's see how many readers get that reference - and are willing to give away their age by admitting to it!)

. . . . .

More of My Personal Gaming Collection for Sale (Updated 1/7/2011)

2011-01-07T12:41:00.001-05:00

As mentioned more than once in previous posts, I've been in a real financial bind as of late - a situation that has been exacerbated by recent unforeseen events. (It was a lean Christmas for the family this year...) As a result, I'm selling bits and pieces of my gaming collection:

Currently, I have listings on eBay for my Kult 2nd edition rule book, and my GURPS Conan and Cthulhupunk books.

I'll be listing more books - including my entire collection of 3rd-edition-era GURPS books - in the days to come. I may be listing items from my "lead mountain" of miniatures, as well. I've also got a NM copy of Chaosium's Beyond the Mountains of Madness (the '95 softback) that I'm considering selling - but I'm really hoping it won't come to that...

Anyway, if you're interested, please have a look at the auctions. I think I've listed the books below current market value. And since all items I'm listing are from my personal collection, and I'm fastidious about caring for my books (some would say "obsessive"), they're all in near-mint-to-mint condition.

1/5/2011: Just an update: I've added several more of my Mint and Near Mint GURPS books to my eBay listings - be sure to take a look.

1/7/2011: Another update: I've added the first printing of Pagan Publishing's Delta Green sourcebook to my eBay listings. I've set the starting bid well below current market value.

. . . . .

The Dark World Map is Here!

2010-12-29T09:00:00.007-05:00

Finally, the long-promised map of Dark World is ready for prime time.

Here's a preview of the map:

Want a hi-res copy? There are a couple of options*:

1) Go to my Cafe Press store and purchase one of the printed maps. (It's available in 17" x 11" as well as 20" x 16".)

2) Purchase an 11" x 8.5" 150dpi electronic version (PDF) of the map via Lulu.com.

Over the coming days/weeks/months I'm planning on building the Dark World Gazetteer, one blog post at a time, so stay tuned...

*I hope I'm not offending anybody by going commercial. Everything else I have on this blog is free, and I plan to keep it that way. But, like many other decent folks, I find myself in dire straits, financially speaking. By buying one of these hi-res copies, you'll be helping me more than you know - and you'll be helping to ensure that the Rust Monster blog keeps rolling along.

. . . . .

Best Holiday Wishes to You All

2010-12-24T13:05:00.006-05:00

[Click the image to see more of this "Saturnalia miracle."]

. . . . .

Bye-bye SGU - Thank You "SyFy"

2010-12-17T14:39:00.007-05:00

So it appears that "SyFy" (said in my very best Mary Katherine Gallagher voice) has pulled the plug on Stargate Universe. All I really have to say to SyFy is:

"Thank you!"

Don't get me wrong: I liked SGU. A lot. Not that it was a great show; it was a little rehashed, and kept edging a little too far into BSG-level melodrama, which frightened me. (I know there are a lot of BSG fans out there, and for a couple seasons I was part of that group, but after that - well, not so much.) But SGU is - sorry, was the only space opera-ish scifi show on TV, and the characters were mostly acceptable, even if they and some of the plot elements they were involved in seemed to be recycled from elsewhere. It was watchable, which is a lot more than I can say for most programming on other networks - and pretty much everything else SyFy (MKG voice again) plays.

So why the "thank you?" Easy: that garbage processing plant of a network has finally given me a reason to completely disregard it. I've been struggling for a long time with SyFy's incessant regurgitation of CGI-/acting-/writing-challenged [Adjective] [Beast] movies and TV shows that want badly to be as smart and edgy as Fringe and The X-Files (but repeatedly fail to be either, apparently being penned by writers who aren't very smart or edgy). Throw in the Dick Clark of reality shows (How in the Hell is Ghost Hunters still cranking along?! I swear, that show's jumped the shark more times than I can count.), wrastlin', and now Pawn Stars for geeks, and I can't even fathom why this network still exists. And were we supposed to be fooled by the branding change into believing that SyFy would somehow bring us better programming? I know TV executives think that all their viewers are cattle with wallets, but come on... /sigh

All I know is: now I don't have to worry about it anymore. I don't have to sit through the trailers for movies I wouldn't take money to watch, or for shows that have about as much to do with reality as a week-long LSD trip. I don't have to feel like I'm being patronized by executives who think their new branding is fooling me.

Best of all, I don't have to "Imagine Greater" because I'm being so let down by the programs SyFy (MKG!) spews at me.

Farewell, SGU - you will be missed!

Adieu, SyFy - don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

. . . . .

Ich Bin Ein Nerd?

2010-11-19T10:36:00.005-05:00

So, I took the plunge last week and bought myself the shirt I was gushing over in the previous post. It arrived on my doorstep yesterday, and upon gleefully opening the package like a giddy schoolboy on Christmas morning, I can say that this shirt rates a hearty and well-deserved "Meh."

While it looks lovely in pictures on ThinkGeek's site, it's not quite so alluring in the flesh, so to speak. What the pictures fail to make clear is how much the detachable "decal" stands out from the shirt itself. It's a rectangular, semi-glossy, 7" x 5" (-ish) plastic placard - not so much a "decal" - that looks like it belongs on the front of a t-shirt about as much as it would look like it belongs stuck to one's forehead. It really is that obtrusive.

To make matters worse, the battery pack was much larger than I hoped. As advertised, it holds three AAA batteries, but it is by no means slim and easy to conceal, totaling about twice the size of the battery bay itself. And it's heavy. Fully stocked with batteries, it's not easily hidden, as it would pull down the fabric if kept in the "small pocket sewn inside the shirt." (I'm guessing that's why it features a belt clip - I honestly can't imagine anyone wearing this shirt with that relatively large battery pack concealed within. It would look ludicrous.)

All told, I was completely underwhelmed. I guess the technology for this sort of shirt hasn't reached the point yet where it can be combined with clothing of this sort to form a truly wearable, fashionable piece of apparel.

On the upside, the "decal" is detachable, and the battery pack and wiring are removable - allowing for transplantation of the nifty wi-fi signal detector onto items more suitable to the unit's relative bulk and prominence. I'm thinking it might serve better adorning my canvas book bag, or perhaps stuck to a laptop cover - I'm not sure yet where I'm going to put it. I'm quietly awaiting a moment of inspiration. (The shirt, at this point, is a loss - without the "decal" the velcro-like material and hole for the connector are plainly visible. Unless I stick something to its front to hide these.)

I wouldn't recommend that anyone buy this shirt (or any of the similar "Interactive T-Shirts") until the price comes down a bit more or the technology reaches the point where it isn't such a detriment to the shirts' appearance. (Unless, like me, you plan to scrap the shirt and use the interactive placards elsewhere. Or unless, unlike me, you are so jazzed about the idea of wearing an interactive shirt that the fashion disaster created by the unattractive placard and bulky battery pack doesn't bother you.)

Also in my order was TG's "Critical Hit LED" twenty-sider. The die is awkwardly large - but this was to be expected, as it's measurements are provided on TG's site. Regardless, I'm hoping to get some actual at-the-table use out of it - if I ever get the chance to play again. (I haven't gamed in months, and since the move a month-and-a-half ago, I'm without a group. *frown*) The die seems to roll without bias (amazingly) and - as advertised - flashes red when a natural 20 is rolled. If you don't mind its bulk, I'd recommend it - at the current price ($9.99 US) it's not too expensive to make it a gimmicky toy worth adding to the dice collection of the discerning tabletop gamer.

. . . . .

Ich Bin Ein Nerd!

2010-10-29T10:12:00.005-04:00

Okay, so does badly wanting this shirt that I just discovered on ThinkGeek out me as a serious geek? Meh - who cares? This shirt is - IMHO - too cool for words, and I must have it:

. . . . .

Another Day Older and Deeper in Debt

2010-10-28T09:26:00.004-04:00

So, as a birthday present to my readers (it's my b-day, but you get the present - see what a great guy I am?) here's the latest iteration of my Dark World map. This is a grayscale version, but I'm still toying with other possibilities (a funky color version, a la the Divine Right map, or a monotone version). The map still doesn't feel complete to me, so I'm reluctant to call this the "final" product. Let's just call it the "close-to-final" product.

. . . . .

Work in Progress: Dark World

2010-10-08T15:52:00.007-04:00

Some time ago, I gave Rust Monster readers a character sheet for and a sneak peek at my "forthcoming" home-brew campaign setting: Dark World.

Well, I never promised it would be coming soon. /wink/ Although progress may be slow, the setting is progressing. Inspiration continues to filter through my over-worked brain, making its way arduously through the tangles of my fevered imagination toward a final product. What I have now looks little like what I had originally envisioned, being less inspired by Thundarr the Barbarian and more inspired by the likes of Lovecraft and C.A.S., by other games (see if you can guess which) and by my own weird sense of humor.

Here's another peek at the map of the still-forthcoming Dark World setting in all its (greatly revised) glory:

. . . . .

Not... dead... yet...

2010-09-29T10:04:00.008-04:00

Contrary to appearances, the Rust Monster has not passed beyond the veil - there's still a little life left in the old girl yet, I promise.

Although 2010's mostly been a wash for me as far as blogging (and gaming) goes, I'm hoping that the imminent move will help rejuvenate me (and help me expand my social circle - okay, so it's more of an arc than a circle at the moment, but I'm hoping this will improve when I no longer live in the boonies). It may be 2011 before I resume blogging on a regular basis, but I remain hopeful nonetheless.

While doing a little Web surfing recently, I found myself drawn to some older sites (and games) I hadn't visited/thought about for quite some time. One of these games was Metropolis' Kult, an old favorite that I've not had nearly enough opportunities to run and have never had the opportunity to play. I got to thinking that maybe - after the move - I'd dust off my books and give the game another go. I also took a glance through my old PC files, and discovered a modified version of the character sheet I posted early last year. As proof that the Rust Monster yet draws breath, I thought I'd share:

Kult 1E Char Sheet 2a.pdf (~6MB)
. . . . .

For Sale: One Castle, Like New (and Other Stuff)

2010-08-25T12:40:00.004-04:00

Well, more domestic upheavals loom ahead: it looks like I'll be relocating the family in a little more than a month. A move is always stressful, but it's not like I haven't done it before (more times than I care to count). Unfortunately, it's going to cost much more than I'd initially budgeted for, which leaves me in a tight financial spot - meaning I have to sell off a bunch of the more valuable items from my huge gaming collection. (Unless somebody else has any good - and legal - ideas for a way to raise $1500 in less than 30 days.)

Oh well - my loss will, hopefully, be someone else's gain.

So here's what I'm parting with initially:

1) My pristine copy of Gary Gygax's Castle Zagyg: The Upper Works (SOLD)

2) My like-new copy of Last Unicorn Games' Dune: Chronicles of the Imperium (SOLD)

Up within the next few days (after I get photos taken) will be my four (or is it five?) sets of Dwarven Forgen Master Maze 3D dungeons. (Typed with a tear in my eye. /sniffle) I'll probably be posting those on eBay as well, so keep an eye on this space for the links. (SOLD)

Over the next couple of weeks, I'll probably be listing here a bunch of other game books from my massive collection - doubtful I'll post all of these to eBay, so if you're interested please stop back often to see what I have.

. . . . .

My Late Introduction to H.P. Lovecraft

2010-07-27T10:08:00.011-04:00

As I've mentioned before, I didn't discover the joy of H.P. Lovecraft's works until sometime in the mid-80's. I'm pretty sure it was in the summer of '85, but it may have been '86. I may not be able to accurately recall the date, but I recall the circumstances well:

My family (well, my mother and father, my nephew, and myself - technically a small subset of my family) were on our summer vacation. For several years, it had been a yearly thing to trek to New England to visit my father's mother (in northern Massachusetts) and my mother's sister (in New Hampshire). Our standard routine was to spend a night at each relative's home, and the rest of the time at Hampton Beach. (The occasional day-trip to Boston was not unheard of.) This particular year, however, we took a day out of our week-long sojourn and went somewhere new: Salem, Mass.

I was especially thrilled at this, because of my new-found love for the horror genre. (Which is why I think we're talking '85 - read the post linked above to see why.) I was still a bit naive, and I expected Salem to be some sort of creepy little hamlet, still darkened by its witch-haunted past.

Of course, the real Salem was nothing of the sort. It was as modern and free of gothic horror as any other American city. (Nor had it yet become the witch-centric tourist destination it currently is.) I couldn't help but be disappointed.

Regardless, I was of a single purpose: to locate a shop selling magical paraphernalia and buy myself a set of tarot cards. My nephew and I had previously watched The Manitou in our Hampton Beach hotel room, and I had been particularly moved by a creepy scene involving a psychic and an ill-fated tarot reading. (Probably the only somewhat-creepy scene in that admittedly crappy '70's horror flick.)

My nephew was also of a single purpose: to locate a book store stocking the works of some horror author of whom I'd never heard, and whose name I thought sounded a bit fruity. He had heard about this author from one of his school friends or something, and regardless of my dismissal of the subject was determined that he must find and read the man's works.

After dragging my parents all over downtown Salem, we finally found a shop that filled both our needs. It was there that I purchased my first set of tarot cards, a Morgan-Greer deck (Oh, the forbidden delight of owning a legitimate piece of esoterica! Hey, I was a naive teenager - cut me some slack.) and my nephew purchased a thick, over-sized paperback bearing the title "Bloodcurdling Tales of Horror and the Macabre" on its cover in big red print. We returned to our hotel room that afternoon flushed with our conquests.

We spent the remainder of that vacation consumed with our respective prizes. I was still puzzled how an author with such a fruity name could be a great in the field of horror literature, but my nephew seemed contented with his purchase. For my part, I found the tarot deck to be a thing of great interest, but not nearly as mystical or magical as I had thought it would be. (Oh, the disillusionment...)

On our way home from New England I succumbed to boredom (the back seat of a Camaro can be a tough place to be for more than a few hours at a stretch) and my curiosity finally got the better of me. I broke down and asked my nephew if I could read his book while he dozed. I cracked open the paperback and flipped through it. Not being and avid reader at the time, and unsure of what to expect from this unfortunately named "H.P. Lovecraft," I looked for something relatively short. I don't recall why, but I settled on "Pickman's Model."

And I was hooked.

Over the next year-and-a-half, I collected the entire run of Ballantine's (IIRC) Lovecraft paperbacks and devoured most of their contents. ("The Statement of Randolph Carter" becoming my favorite story.) I also began to realize that I'd been exposed to Lovecraft prior to even knowing of his existence. I recalled an article from an old Starlog magazine that had always captivated me (about a movie entitled "Cry of Cthulhu" that was ultimately never made). I also recalled ads in Dragon magazine for cool-looking Call of Cthulhu miniatures - although I didn't make the RPG connection until fall of '86, when I stumbled across a hard-cover Call of Cthulhu rulebook in the local bookstore. (That book is now my favorite version of the game.)

Even though my love of the horror genre bloomed in 1985, I had harbored a fascination for it for years, despite my sensitive nature. (Again, see the linked post in the first paragraph.) I can recall being drawn to scary movies as far back as I can remember - I even recall choosing horror comics to read when visiting a family friend's house, despite the wide selection of choices presented in the stacks and stacks of comics her son had collected. To this day, I don't exactly know how Lovecraft slipped under my radar for so long.

To some extent, I lament not having become aware of him sooner - at least by a few years. Granted, '85 was probably the best year for me to discover HPL's works, given my new-found love. But I feel I missed out on a lot by not being privy to the early-80's Lovecraft "movement" - such as: the earlier editions of Call of Cthulhu and their classic supplements; Grenadier's characterful CoC miniatures, which I now find myself purchasing used or as Mirilton recasts at exorbitant prices; and publications like Crypt of Cthulhu - issues of which I would love to purchase, but haven't the capital to do so, thanks to their high second-hand cost.

I suppose I should be thankful for discovering H.P. Lovecraft when I did, since it was probably the most opportune time in my personal development to do so. But, as with discovering Dungeons & Dragons in '81, I can't shake the feeling that I missed out on something special by not doing so just a few years earlier.

(By the way: having since (hopefully) matured, I no longer think the name "Lovecraft" is at all fruity.)

. . . . .

Can I Use This As a Reference When Contacting a Publisher?

2010-07-26T13:16:00.001-04:00

I write like
James Joyce

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

New Dungeon World Article on The Escapist

2010-06-22T10:25:00.004-04:00

Just a quick FYI: Although the Rust Monster's on hiatus, I'm still writing monthly for The Escapist's "Days of High Adventure" column. My latest installment in the Dungeon World setting is up for your enjoyment.

A Dagger for Every Back

2010-06-01T15:20:00.002-04:00

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

"You are a d4: You are bright, perceptive, and driven. You would be considered a blessing to mankind, if you didn't insist on using your powers for evil. You are devious, deceitful, doubtful, and downright dangerous. Assassins can learn a lot from you. If your fellow party members knew how rotten you were, they'd go over and join the bad guys. Justified or not, you are meticulous in your ways: A poison for every person, and a dagger for every back. Much of your day is spent scheming or plotting. The rest of your time is spent trying to convince others that you're simply misunderstood."

Elsewhere...

2010-04-08T08:59:00.006-04:00

Instead of sitting around like a lump, I've decided to use the Rust Monster's hiatus to start another blog - one focused on miniatures gaming. That blog will perform the same basic service the Rust Monster has - specifically, it will allow me to share with the whole wide world all of the gaming goodies I've created over the years - and will also act as a place where I can get away from the craziness of the OSR when need be. (Rest assured, I will still be updating the Rust Monster - once I'm feeling a little less burnt out on the OSR stuff.)

So, if you're at all interested in miniatures games (I hesitate to call what I do "war gaming," because the games I like are more about story and character than military "strategerery") please visit "A Hard Won Thing."

. . . . .

Meanwhile, in the News

2010-04-07T09:45:00.004-04:00

My fiancee has an interview with Nathan Caroland, the creator of the miniatures game Malifaux, on her blog, Lili's Lair.

Oh, and in case you missed it, my latest installment in the Dungeon World setting for The Escapist's "Days of High Adventure" column went up last Thursday.

Worth Repeating

2010-04-01T09:58:00.001-04:00

Found this article on CNN this morning:

(CNN) A pack of protesters gathered at the village park in North Hakenslach, Minnesota this morning, braving the frigid weather to stand up for the rights of, as one protester put it, "old school gamers everywhere."

The seven people, each one hailing from different locales such as Texas, Chicago, and even as distant as Ontario, Canada, carried signs, beat a drum, and shouted pro-"old school" slogans to show their solidarity, and to raise awareness for their cause.

"People need to be made aware that there are more of us around than they think," said Jim Grognardi, the group's unofficial spokesperson. "Beneath the thin veneer of today's gaming populace is a much larger, much older foundation of gamers, and we demand that our voices be heard."

Although the protest group consisted of only seven members, Grognardi claimed that many more like-minded individuals had indicated that they would be arriving to join the protest.

"We're expecting about another 130 people," Grognardi maintained.

No residents of North Hakenslach, population 372, could be reached for comment. However, one person in a passing vehicle voiced his dissent to the protesters' loud message:

"Get a life, weirdoes!" he exclaimed as he sped by.

Going For a Walk-About

2010-03-23T17:14:00.000-04:00

Given the recent and recurring interweb melodramas, my anger and sadness over the loss of Chgowiz's "Old Guy RPG" blog, and the incessant pressure of recent and recurring real-life melodramas, I'm feeling completely burned out. As a result, I've decided to take a break from the OSR blogosphere. The Rust Monster blog is - effective immediately - going on indefinite hiatus.

I'd like to think that over the last year-plus I've posted a lot of useful stuff, and I don't plan on taking any of it down. (At least not in the near future.) So there should be enough here to keep folks occupied in my absence. (Use the hard links and the label cloud to the right to find what you want.)

Take care, everyone.

. . . . .

Edit: If you're wondering about my motives behind this post, here's a fine example of why I'm in dire need of a fucking break (excerpted from comments to my previous post):

"If ChgoWiz is the voice of reason in the OSR blogsphere (read that as: incessant circlejerking pundits), then that collection of rabble needed a new spokesman anyway."

Ugh. Yet one more asshat with a smelly opinion - and this one wasn't even brave enough to leave his name with his oh-so brave words. Thanks, "Anonymous" - my opinion of human behavior just sank a little lower. Well, fuckwit, you've got a couple less "incessant circle[-]jerking pundits" in this "collection of rabble" to worry about. You and the other courageous trolls like you that see the need to turn anything decent on the Web to shit are welcome to it. Later!

. . . . .

WTF?!

2010-03-22T11:23:00.004-04:00

I apparently blinked and missed another flare-up of "OSR" blogoshpere melodrama - but what in the name of Orcus' besmeared farting hole could have been so bad as to make Mike take down his "Old Guy" blog?

For fuck's sake...

. . . . .

A Few of My Favorite Things Man Should Not Know

2010-03-05T13:35:00.020-05:00

As spring approaches, I find myself beginning to entertain thoughts of madness and despair - different from the thoughts of madness and despair that the passing of the winter holidays brings, that is. No, this time of year I tend to find myself drawn toward the legacy of my favorite author, H. P. Lovecraft, and yearning to play one of my favorite role-playing games (if not my all-time favorite): Chaosium's Call of Cthulhu.

I don't know why this time of year causes such feelings. It may be because I associate late spring with the time of year I truly discovered my love for the horror genre. For whatever reason, though, this seems to happen to me every year. (Don't believe me? Then go read this and come back - it's okay, I'll wait for you.)

Being the visceral person I am, I like to fan the flames of my growing ~~obsession~~ interest by looking at pretty pictures. This year, I decided I'd share some of my favorite inspirational images with you.

Up first we have the cover of my favorite edition of my possibly favorite role-playing game: the third edition hardback produced in collusion with Games Workshop:

Although not from my favorite version of the book, the following image graced the covers of the game until its fourth edition. (I'm fairly sure of this, despite the 3rd edition cover above, because my third copy of the 3rd edition of the game is a boxed set with this image on its cover.) This image was also used for the cover of the limited 25th Anniversary Edition (don't get me started on that book!). It's my favorite of the game's covers, with the one above running a very close second:

I had the cover of Arkham Unveiled in poster form (it came with the original version of the book) hanging in my study/game room for years:

The book for which the following image is the cover - Mansions of Madness - has the distinction of being the only Call of Cthulhu RPG book from which I've run a scenario ("Crack'd and Crook'd Manse") in its entirety - with great success, I might add:

Here are the covers of a couple of books I would love but have yet to have the pleasure to own (despite regularly looking at them on eBay and used game sites)- Spawn of Azathoth and Cthulhu Now:

Shambling away from book covers, here are a few other game covers I like, starting with another game I wish I owned - the original Arkham Horror:

And here some covers from the version of Arkham Horror I do own (and absolutely love!) starting with the core game:

And the Kingsport Horror Expansion (I especially like this one; like the two main book covers above, this is - to me - what an in-game session of Call of Cthulhu should look like):

And the Black Goat of the Woods Expansion (yeah, shoot that dark young - that'll save your butt. Not!):

I guess that's enough for now. I've got a bunch of other images I use for inspiration, but these are - as I alluded to in the title of this post - just a few of my favorite things...

. . . . .
Obviously, the images above are either the property of Chaosium (the Call of Cthulhu and 1987 Arkham Horror covers) or Fantasy Flight Games (the contemporary Arkham Horror covers).
. . . . .

Late to the Party...

2010-02-23T13:31:00.007-05:00

... as usual.

So I just discovered that Christian successfully cast raise dead on the destination unknown blog last week. Thank goodness! I just wish I'd known sooner, though. I've been seriously bummed since hearing it was going way - which, by the way, was after it had already gone. (Like I said: "as usual.")

Christian's blog is - to me - the old-school blogosphere's equivalent of the quiet book shop you sneak away to when the rest of the world gets too intense; a nice, friendly place, mercifully free of sturm und drang.

Now I just need to find a cleric who's willing to cast remove curse on the Rust Monster blog - for less than 5sp, preferably.

. . . . .

"N is for Neville who died of ennui"

2010-02-22T09:51:00.002-05:00

Thankfully, my name is not Neville - for multiple reasons, but in this context for the apparent potential of dying of ennui if so named.

I hate New York state. At the moment, this is primarily due to the soul-leeching winter season that in the best of times makes getting through to spring an arduous task. Of course, as regular readers may know, this particular winter has been far from "the best of times" in my part of the universe. Double whammy.

Anyway, I wanted to apologize for my lack of useful posts of late... just finding it a little hard to get motivated these days. Although suffering from lethargy and a concerning cough, I promise that the Rust Monster blog is not on its death bed. I'm confident it will be up and around in no time, although it may be a while before it can resume normal activities.

. . . . .

There's a New Rust Monster Coming to Town

2010-02-03T14:51:00.005-05:00

Actually, a pair of 'em!

Otherworld Miniatures - purveyor of excellent old-school minis - is planning a mid-March release of a two-mini set of rust monsters. I must be slipping, because I wasn't aware of this. I have to thank Richard Scott for the friendly heads-up about it.

I'm getting a bit ticked off at Otherworld - their stuff is just too good to pass up! Now I have yet one more set to add to my seemingly-ever-growing Otherworld-ly wish list. First, those amazing pig-faced orcs. Then, the demon idol. And now, this...

When will this madness end?

. . . . .

A Profile Is Worth a Thousand Views

2010-01-28T09:16:00.002-05:00

As of this writing, 1,000 people - most of whom I presumably don't know IRL - have viewed my Blogger profile. That's very cool - if not a little creepy...

. . . . .

Dungeon World: Crypts of the Carrion King

2010-01-22T09:06:00.003-05:00

Just an FYI: The latest installment in my "Dungeon World" series is now available on The Escapist. It's a nifty little four-room ~~deathtrap~~ dungeon. Enjoy!

. . . . .

What I Got for Christmas - 28 Years Ago

2009-12-30T15:23:00.005-05:00

Eight days ago was the first anniversary of A Rust Monster Ate My Sword. But I just realized that another anniversary passed or is soon to pass: the 28^th anniversary of my first game of Dungeons & Dragons.

It was sometime during Christmas vacation, 1981, that I officially first set foot into "the hobby." With my nephew and my best friend, Brian, I took my first journey of the imagination into a keep on the edge of civilization a few days after Christmas. We didn't make it into the nearby Caves of Chaos that day (in fact, I didn't make into those caves as a player until earlier this year!) but it's an experience I will likely never forget, regardless.

Upon recalling this anniversary, I got to thinking about the presents I received that year. I imagine there were more than the three I recall clearly - most likely a variety of Star Wars toys, very few of which I can mentally track due to the sheer volume I've collected over the years. But these items were the big three that year, and two of them still see semi-regular use to this day:

The D&D Basic Set ("Moldvay" Basic)
This was my introduction to the rules of the game, and will forever be what first comes to mind when I think of D&D. Clean and concise, easy to understand, and oozing with character, the Moldvay Basic rulebook is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of D&D evolution. I'm sure that opinion is based upon a good amount of nostalgic bias, but you have to at least agree that the "red book" is a worthy entry into the game's pantheon of rulebooks. Every time I play another form of the game, no matter how much I'm enjoying it - be it AD&D, the Rules Cyclopedia, 3.x, or even one of the retro-clones - I find myself occasionally suppressing the urge to ditch what I'm doing and pull out the red book...

Grenadier's "Denizens of the Swamp" Set
Prior to Christmas that year, I'd discovered that a local store carried a small variety of Grenadier's AD&D miniatures. I'd never seen game miniatures before and - being in the early stages of D&D mania - found myself coveting each and every set in stock. I managed somehow - I've since forgotten how - to score a set called "Specialists" before Christmas. As the holiday approached, I recognized the need to provide opponents for the heroes in said set, and that's how "Denizens" ended up on my Christmas list. One of the lizard men refused to stand, the basilisk's horn was broken off, and I thought the troll was too goofy for words - but I loved the set, nonetheless; especially the gnoll with the cross-dagger! Alas, I parted with most of these minis several years ago, but I still recall them fondly.

Milton Bradley's Dark Tower
What can I say? Dark Tower rocked, plain and simple. I recall suffering near unbearable angst as my brothers attempted to repair the game Christmas morning; it didn't work out of the box. This was a recurring theme for my childhood Christmases and birthdays, so by 1981 I was more or less used to this scenario. Fortunately, they successfully repaired it. (Much more successfully than earlier Christmases, where such repair efforts often left toys scarred or barely functioning, and less than enjoyable to play with.) When our first attempt to play D&D resulted in a boring session of murdering and looting the bodies of residents of the aforementioned keep, this was the game that we turned to. It was - and still is, when I can get it to function - an immensely enjoyable way to pass the time with friends and family. (And the game's artwork still inspires me.)

I've had the good fortune to have enjoyed many good Christmases as a child, but none seem to stand out so clearly as this one - the "D&D Christmas" of 1981...

. . . . .

An Update

2009-12-16T09:15:00.006-05:00

Just a quick note: The Rust Monster blog may be dormant for a while. My father's been in the hospital since the beginning of the week and it looks like he could pass away any day. The blog, therefore, is going to be on hold indefinitely, and if I'm remiss at responding to anybody's e-mails over the coming days or weeks, I hope you'll understand why, and trust that you'll forgive me.

I was planning a big one-year blogiversary post for the 22^nd, but it looks like that won't be happening now. In lieu of that, let me just thank everyone for supporting the Rust Monster for the last (almost) 365 days. I especially want to thank Sham aka Dave, Jeff, and James, all of whose blogs inspired me to start this little project and continue to inspire me to enjoy my hobby to its fullest with every post I read.

I hope your holidays are fun and full of joy - I'll see you all again next year.

New Dungeon World Article on The Escapist

2009-12-11T10:24:00.004-05:00

I've been sick as a dog all week (do dogs really get this sick?) so please forgive me if posting's been light (read as: non-existent). This is just a quick update to let everybody know that the latest installment of my "Dungeon World" series for The Escapist's "Days of High Adventure" column is live. It's a micro-dungeon crawl, perfect for a quick pick-up game or just as something to drop into an existing campaign as a side trip.

Enjoy!

. . . . .

Is It Secret? Is It Safe?

2009-12-03T12:02:00.003-05:00

Here's something from the scanning project that every good spy needs: a well-supplied safe house. I don't know when I drew this map, but judging from the style and the contents of the armory, I'd guess we're looking at something from around late 1984/early 1985. (I had a small knife collection back in the day and owned one of the black Tekna knives mentioned in the armory contents.)

. . . . .

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to My Underground Lair

2009-11-19T12:25:00.003-05:00

Here's another Top Secret map from my scanning project, this one drawn some time in the mid- to late-80's. It's yet another villain's subterranean lair, this one located under a seemingly innocuous river-side warehouse:

Here's the surface/exterior map:

. . . . .

I'm Hiding in Honduras - I'm a Desperate Man

2009-11-13T11:51:00.005-05:00

While we're on the topic of espionage RPG's, here's something I've had laying around that's not from the scanning project and not for an edition of Top Secret: a character sheet for Palladium's Ninjas & Superspies game.

The Palladium house system may not be the smoothest rules set ever, and later additions may have taken the munckin-y aspects of the system to new heights (Rifts, I'm looking at you), but my friends and I had a blast with Beyond the Supernatural and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in the day. (And continue to do so, although much less often than we did back then.) We never played pure N&S more than a couple of times, but the martial arts rules were regularly incorporated into our other Palladium games. These three books are - aside from my Bureau 13: Stalking the Night Fantastic book - the most worn books in my collection, and for good reason.

So, in honor of some fun times, and keeping with the espionage theme (more or less) here's my N&S character sheet:

. . . . .

You Gotta Give the Other Fella Hell

2009-11-12T09:15:00.005-05:00

Here's a map from the scanning project that I originally made for use with Top Secret/S.I.. I think I drew this back in the mid-90's after watching True Lies for the umteenth time. It's a subterranean operations center for your PC's clandestine organization. Of course, this could also be an enemy operations center the PC's need to infiltrate. (Good luck with that.)

. . . . .

I've Seen This Diamond Cut Through Harder Men

2009-11-11T15:22:00.006-05:00

Here's another Top Secret memory courtesy of the scanning project: a villain's multi-level underground stronghold.

I distinctly recall drawing this up after a mid-80's viewing of Where Eagles Dare - those with a keen eye may even recognize a room or two on Level 5 inspired by those in Schloss Adler (and look for a nod to Remo Williams on Level 6). There aren't any sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads, but this should still be a fun romp for players who want to storm a bad guy's stronghold, a la Where Eagles Dare or Star Wars. Drop this location under the helipad on the Ville D'Arc island, and you've got one massive Big Bad's lair.

With its underground setting and multiple levels, this map really shows, IMHO, my dungeon crawling roots. I'll let you decide:

. . . . .

How Was I to Know She Was with the Russians Too

2009-11-09T13:13:00.008-05:00

Continuing my tribute to TSR's Top Secret, I thought I'd post something a little newer: a recent character sheet.

This one's not for original Top Secret, however; it's for that game's worthy descendant, Top Secret/S.I. Unlike most official character sheets for the games I play, I never felt the need to improve upon TSR's Top Secret agent dossier. It did what it needed to do, and did it well, IMHO. (I've got two sets of the original TSR dossiers, but if you're not so lucky, Mad Irishman has a faithful recreation available in PDF.)

Such was not the case with TSR's official Top Secret/S.I. sheet/folder. It was adequate, but it seemed to me that there was a lot of wasted space in the folder. So, here's a more compact character sheet for the game:

. . . . .

Now on The Escapist: The Witch-Keep of Drakenmoor

2009-11-06T09:27:00.004-05:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know that the latest installment of the "Dungeon World" setting, part of "The Days of High Adventure" column, is now live on The Escapist: "The Witch-Keep of Drakenmoor" is an 8-page location-based mini-adventure (in PDF). Enjoy!

Stay tuned to the Rust Monster, because next week I'll have a bunch more Top Secret goodies for you from my scanning project.

. . . . .

Odds Are You Won't Live to See Tomorrow

2009-11-05T11:30:00.013-05:00

After my introduction to the world of RPG's via Basic D&D (evolving soon thereafter into a mish-mash of Basic and AD&D) I quickly began exploring the ever-growing RPG landscape of the early 80's. My early exposure (pre-1984) was limited to whatever I could find in the local Kay-Bee toy stores. This basically meant TSR's boxed games: Gamma World, Star Frontiers, Gangbusters, Dawn Patrol... and Top Secret.

I think Top Secret was my second post-D&D role-playing game. I'm not sure if it was the second one I encountered, but it was the second one that I actually purchased and immersed myself in.

It was natural for me to gravitate toward an espionage game as my second foray into the world of RPG's. After sci fi/horror, espionage was running a close second as my favorite genre. I'd grown up on the ubiquitous staple of James Bond (Connery, mostly), Matt Helm, and Derek Flint films, not mention a wide variety of Cold War and WWII-era espionage and action flicks, like Three Days of the Condor, Where Eagles Dare and Guns of Navarone. (All watched, of course, on one of our three local network stations on my tiny portable black-and-white TV set.)

A couple of my favorite childhood toys were the hand-me-down James Bond 007 Road Race Set and a piece of "Man From UNCLE" parephernalia I had found - the UNCLE badge and ID wallet from the Man From UNCLE Napoleon Solo Gun set. (Damn, that James Bond set was an awesome toy! There were no cars or controllers by the time I got my hands on it, but Hot Wheels and Matchbox vehicles worked even better, if you ask me. And I had never seen the "Man From UNCLE" series, but I knew cool spy stuff when I saw it.)

Yep, I really dug spies. (And still do.)

Of course, this would also have been late 1982/early 1983, the height of Reagan-era Cold War goodness. It seemed that not a day went by that there wasn't some form of international intrigue in the news. To say that the environment was ripe for espionage gaming would probably be a huge understatement.

Despite its multitude of quirks and subsystems (I still have trouble wrapping my brain around that hand-to-hand combat system!) I loved Top Secret from the very start. I made character after character, drew maps of villains' secret hideouts and underground lairs, and used the weapon creation subsystem to derive Top Secret stats for dozens of modern firearms. And I played the Hell out of the game with my nephew. Our characters, my Bryan Steele* and his Rick Savage, saved the world from evil villains more times than I can count. (*Did I mention that I was/am a huge fan of "Remington Steele?")

I've tried several times since that period (1982/3-1985) to recover or renew the experiences of my Halcyon days of espionage gaming - alas, to no avail. But I still have my nostalgic memories - and most of the materials I've created for Top Secret. I've shared the nostalgia - now how about the goodies?

Up first is "Ville D'Arc," a set of maps I drew up for a villain's island lair. This was made after seeing Octopussy (so, late summer 1983) so when you're painting your mental picture of the main house, try to envision it looking something like Kamal Khahn's house from that movie.

Here's the island map:

And here's the map of the main compound (followed by a key of the map's locations):

Last, but certainly not least, here's the map of the main house:

. . . . .

The Ghouls All Came from Their Humble Abodes

2009-10-30T10:30:00.002-04:00

Here's another post in - ahem - the spirit of the season: a scenario I whipped up for a recent session of Call of Cthulhu: In the deep woods of northern Massachusetts, the PC's (or, since this is CoC, the "investigators") are about to become embroiled in a family's dark and deadly secret... will they survive the "Horror of Halloran House?"

(A few caveats: There are no stats given for the antagonists in this scenario, but you should be able to pull everything you need from the CoC rulebook - I did! Also, I had to pull the floorplans of Halloran House from the document, since they were modified versions of something I took from one of Chaosium's supplements.)

Click here to download the "Horror of Halloran House" in PDF.

Check out these links if you're in need of third-edition character sheets or minion master sheets.

You Better Stay Away From Him - He'll Rip Your Lungs Out, Jim!

2009-10-29T13:06:00.006-04:00

Since Halloween is fast approaching (a little too fast for my liking - it always seems to come and go far too quickly) I thought I'd share an outline for a scenario I subjected my players to - er, I mean ran my players through a while back.

The scenario's set in modern-day Arkham, MA, and includes an NPC long-known to the characters of my game group's 20+-year Bureau 13: Stalking the Night Fantastic campaign. But there's no reason it needs to be set in that witch-haunted city, nor does it need to even be for that game. It's generic enough to be lifted and dropped into just about any modern horror game setting you choose - all you need to do is file off the serial numbers...

(Warning: adult themes ahead.)

"And Death Shall Walk Among Us"
A Scenario for Bureau 13: Stalking the Night Fantastic

In 25 Words or Less
A cabal of semi-well-intentioned whoopee witches have summoned and bound Death into a human body to "do the Lord’s bidding."

What Went Before
Three weeks ago, Father Anthony diTomaso, a priest at Saint Ambrosius’ church in Arkham, discovered a hidden chamber under the floor of the church rectory’s basement. Therein he found a cache of documents hidden there by an unknown party, possibly as long ago as the mid-1700's. Among the items he found a leather-bound book with no title. Entirely hand written, the book’s author was unknown – only the initials “C.M.” on the book’s flyleaf served as a clue to its author’s identity.

Within the Nameless Book, diTomaso found a ritual to “Summon and Bind to Ye Service the Lord’s Angel of Death.” Having lost himself within the book’s treatises against the sins of man and the need for men of the Lord to take action to protect mankind from itself and from the evils lurking at the edges of sanity (many of which it describes fully) diTomaso took his first step onto a slippery slope.

diTomaso gathered up four other faithful, pious men to join his cause: Capt. Frank Garrick of the Arkham PD, Arkham businessman Luthor Burton, Dr. Ken Draiben, and MU professor Michael Flemming. Fueled by diTomaso’s fervent, charismatic fanaticism, the group pored over the book, reading many times from cover to cover. They met weekly in the hidden room, beginning and ending each meeting with a reading from the book and the singing of a hymn found on its first pages.

Having convinced themselves that mankind was in imminent danger of succumbing to the evil forces that constantly chip away at its foundation, the cabal determined that they would attempt the ritual to summon “The Angel of Death.” The ritual required a female virgin, whom Draiben was able to select for the group from patients at his private practice. The virgin wasn’t to be sacrificed, so the group didn’t have that moral hurdle to overcome. She was, however, to be “deflowered” – an issue that the fanatical group took about twelve seconds to come to terms with.

The girl, Tina Moreau, a 19-year-old MU student in one of Flemming’s classes, was lured to the professor’s office after hours (on academic pretexts). On the way there, she was stopped by Capt. Garrick, who “arrested” her “on suspicion.” He took her to the rectory, where the ritual was immediately performed.

Seven hours later, when the ritual was finally done and dawn approached, the cabal watched in abject horror as the girl’s belly swelled. In under an hour, she gave birth – to a dark-haired, black-eyed baby girl.

The cabal discussed what was to be done, and it was decided that Draiben would take the baby and her now-catatonic mother to his home to care for them. He put Tina in the guest bedroom (chained to the bed posts) and watched after the baby – whom the cabal had named “Angela.”

Angela never ate or drank, and grew phenomenally fast – at the apparent rate of five years per day that passed. (She’d sleep for five hours – exactly. Upon waking, she had “matured” another five years from the night before.) She was beautiful, a sight of almost alien perfection. Her hair and irises were jet black, and her skin white as porcelain. The only blemish on her body was a rose-colored birthmark on her left shoulder – and odd-shaped, five-lobed pattern that seemed too symmetrical to be a natural occurrence.

Around the time of Angela’s birth – unbeknownst to diTomaso’s cabal – another odd phenomenon began to occur: people the world over stopped dying. Even terminally ill patients in the hospitals and the nursing homes did not die. In case after case around the world, people who should have died did not. People in fatal accidents, shot, blown up – it didn’t matter. No matter how severe the wounds, nobody died.

In Arkham alone, a trio of teens who were in a “fatal” one-car crash should have been killed based on the severity of their injuries. The townsfolk called it a miracle, but as more such “miracles” occurred, even the most mundane people in Arkham began to get a sense that something was wrong.

By the third day, when Angela appeared to be about 15 years of age, only seven people had died: three registered sex offenders (all of the known sex offenders in the city), two members of the city’s most violent street gang, The Crimson Skulls, one city alderman (often accused of corruption and mob ties), and one local fortune teller (who was a local celebrity and reported to be able to speak with the dead and use “black magic”). The county coroner could not determine the causes of death, and none seemed to have been victims of foul play. They all had one thing in common, though: a small patch of blackened, necrotized flesh over their hearts – each in the shape of a small hand-print.

As it turns out, the “force” inhabiting the girl’s body is not an “angel of the Lord,” but the elemental force of Death itself. An archetypal personification of the entropic and destructive forces of the universe, Death’s role is to transform sentient beings, “ferrying” them from one life to another. However, the cabal has disrupted the natural order, and Death now takes “her” commands only from them. Thus, the only ones dying are those they choose. All others are trapped in their current forms – despite their conditions.

The Hook
Capt. Dave Dietrich of APD’s Special Investigations Division calls the PC’s. [Dietrich is the aforementioned well-known NPC - he's been involved in several of the PCs' adventures, and is well-aware of the weirdness and supernatural danger that plagues mankind.] He’s distressed and asks them to come to the station. He can’t say why over the phone – they need to see this for themselves.

Scene Snippet:
At the APD station, they’re shown to the new SID room. Dietrich has his own office here, as does a Lieutenant under him, and he has several harried-looking detectives working here with him in a “secretarial pool” layout.

At the station, Dietrich takes them from the SID room to the holding cells in the basement. In a “special holding” cell that is segregated from the others, he has a single Hispanic male. Covered in blood and suffering from what are obviously multiple gunshot wounds, the man is barely coherent. A quick examination will show anyone with even rudimentary medical skills that the man’s wounds are fatal. Two bullet wounds clearly enter his upper torso, pierce his heart, and exit through his back. His heart is no longer beating, and the congealing blood is slowly oozing from his wounds – but still he lives.

Scene Snippet:
An EMT is being led from the cell block by an officer as Dietrich leads the PC’s in; he is pale and obviously shaken. He’s saying something to the officer leading him out like: “You can’t get me to go back in there! Not me, man! No way!”

The man, whose name is unknown, was in the process of robbing a mini-mart when an APD patrol car pulled up. The officers going for their nightly coffee were just as surprised as the perp was, then the guns came out. When the shooting was done, the perp, the store’s cashier, and one of the two officers had been shot. Only the perp had been hit “fatally.”

Dietrich takes the PC’s back to the SID room where he shows them newspaper clippings and Web site pages he’s printed out. In the last three days, these sorts of “miracles” have been happening all around the world.

Scene Snippet:
As he’s showing them his “evidence,” Dietrich bemoans: “As if I don’t have enough to deal with, between bleeding statues, cult graffiti, missing persons, and dying scumbags… [sigh]” (The first two are red herrings, but the last two are clues directly related to the real cause of these problems. The missing person he mentions is Tina Moreau, and the "dying scumbags" are those Angela's "removed.")

On-going Events
“The List”
The binding ritual specifies that Angela’s victims must be selected by a majority of the summoners. The cabal have selected several victims already and put them on a list that is kept in the hidden room. The GM should populate this list at his discretion.

Other Events
In the wee hours of the morning of day five, Draiban – suffering a moral quandary – takes the catatonic Tina Moreau to the outskirts north of town and abandons her there. She will be found by a local delivery man at 11 AM, unless the PC’s happen to find her first. For his trouble, Draiben is added to the top of “The List” by the cabal that evening. If nothing interrupts the timeline, he will be dead by midnight.

Dramatis Personae
Angela, the physical embodiment of Death
Strikingly beautiful and simultaneously terrifying, Angela is unstoppable. Her body is immune to everything – the only way to stop her is to destroy or remove, with an enchanted item, the sigil on her left shoulder. Doing so releases her from her fleshy prison – but before she leaves it, she’ll “take care” of the cabal. (“I must be sure they receive the sweetest reward for their efforts.”) Removing the sigil frees her, but does not compel her to leave the body.

Angela matures at the rate of five years per day, but peaks at the apparent age of twenty-five on day five. She finds it amusing to dress in Goth fashion, a la Neil Gaiman’s characterization of her.

When Death leaves Angela’s body, if she has not been mortally wounded, Angela will be a beautiful, homeless amnesiac. Otherwise, she will immediately suffer the overdue effects of her injuries. Once freed from the binding, regardless of whether Death remains in Angela's body or not, anyone dead-but-not-dead still suffering from fatal injuries will immediately pass away.

Angela's only power is to take the life from her chosen victims. She usually does so by gently laying the palm of her hand over the victim's heart. Death is instantaneous, and the only evidence left is a patch of dead flesh where she laid her hand. (She need not take a life in this manner - any physical contact is enough for her to steal a living being's life force. She just like's to do it this way...) As previously mentioned, the binding ritual prevents her from taking the life of anyone other than those on the cabal's List.

Options
Instead of "hooking" the PC's as suggested, this would be a perfect chance to pull a bait and switch on the players, making the "miracles" look like the start of a zombie apocalypse.

Instead of setting the game in Arkham, you could always use Winter Creek, VT.

If you need Bureau 13 character sheets, feel free to try my home-brew B13 character sheet.

Enjoy!

. . . . .

More Sci Fi Goodness

2009-10-26T09:51:00.003-04:00

Here's the starship record sheet I made for my aforementioned never-to-see-the-light-of-day HardNova II campaign:

. . . . .

My God - It's Full of Character Sheets

2009-10-23T10:45:00.004-04:00

While we're on the topic of science fiction RPG's, I thought I'd share a character sheet I created for my favorite RPG that I've never actually played - Precis Intermedia's (formerly Poltically Incorrect Games) HardNova II.

HardNova II is a great little rules-lite game. In 52 pages, the game's core rules manage to pack in robust rules for characters, including seven PC races; rules for starships; a basic and advanced task resolution system; a basic setting outline, including simple world creation rules; an "enemy" alien race and rules for creating other alien races; and four senarios. It's a nifty game that I really can't help but fall in love with all over again every time I look at it.

I spent a lot of time compiling a "Galactic Guide" of technology and adapted races from my own imagination and a variety of sources, including Traveller, Star Frontiers, and two of PIG's other games, The Colonies and EarthAD. I'm still not sure why none of this work ever resulted in at least a game session or two. I think maybe it was just a matter of bad timing - as in my interests at the time were not in synch with those of my game group.

Regardless, it's a good game, and definitely worth a look. In fact, at $4.95 US, if you're a sci fi RPG fan you practically owe it to yourself to go buy a copy of the PDF right now. (And in case you were wondering: No, I'm not sock-puppeting for Precis Intermedia just because they happen to be the current publishers of my miniatures games! Plenty of other folks like this game, too - just check out the RPGNow reviews if you don't believe me.)

So here's the (slightly customized for house rules) character sheet that has never seen use:

. . . . .

And Now for Something Completely Different...

2009-10-22T10:57:00.010-04:00

Different than what I'd planned on posting today, that is.

I was hoping to get some of my scanned horror resources (mostly hand-drawn maps and floor plans) posted this week. However, it seems that the image files of the pieces I'd scanned have been stolen by file-stealing Ninja Hacker Gnomes. (I suppose it's possible that I accidentally deleted them, but I find the Ninja Hacker Gnome theory far more compelling.)

Since that means I'll now have to find the time to re-scan all that stuff, I figured I'd post something useful in the interim.

To that end, here's a character sheet for the latest edition of a truly old-school game - and no, I'm not talking about 4E! I'm referring to Mongoose's version of the Traveller game system.

I didn't have the good fortune of encountering Traveller back in the day, aside from moderate exposure to it via Dragon magazine. Being a gamer in a vacuum, my RPG exposure prior to the late 80's was mostly limited to TSR's boxed games. (Thus my first sci fi RPG was Star Frontiers.) I did flirt with various later editions - MegaTraveller and Marc Miller's Traveller ("T4") specifically. But none of these really grew on me. MegaTraveller was too clunky (and infuriatingly broken in a few places), and T4 was just too lacking in luster. (Although it was also populated with cool Chris Foss artwork - alongside what are, IMHO, some of Larry Elmore's worst pieces ever. Elmore's cover for Star Frontiers is, to this day, my go-to piece for sci fi RPG inspiration, but to say that his work in T4 disappointed me is a gross understatement.)

Even later (as in a couple of years ago) I ran a "Classic" Traveller ("CT") game set in the universe of Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda that quickly fizzled out. Honestly, I like the idea of the game - a lot. I just seem to have trouble finding an edition that really hits the sweet spot for me. Well, make that had trouble.

Thanks to Mongoose's newest edition, I think my Traveller woes may be over.

I picked up the core rulebook for a song on eBay (almost half of what I'd have paid for it at Amazon) and spent some quality time with it a few nights ago. Boy, was I impressed.

The newest edition seems to preserve much of the simplicity and charm that I so loved in the first three CT "LBB's," but added the depth and robustness I liked from the later editions. After a first read, it looks like this edition has included everything I liked about the previous editions and excluded everything I disliked.

So now I find myself ramping up for a campaign in the Third Imperium, and really looking forward to it. I've finally got an edition that hits all the right notes for me - let's just hope it goes over well with the players!

Anyway, enough talk - here's the character sheet (based on the look and feel of my earlier Star Frontiers sheet):

. . . . .

Now on the Escapist: Dungeon World - A Closer Look

2009-10-09T11:02:00.005-04:00

Some of you may have noticed my absence... As I emerge from my unexpected month-long hiatus like a sinking man clawing at a vine above a pit of quicksand (believe me, this analogy isn't as fanciful as you might think) I find myself wondering:

What am I going to post?

Well, the first and most obvious answer is the announcement that my second entry into The Escapist's "Days of High Adventure" column is live. If you'd like to know more about the (free) "Dungeon World" setting, head on over to the article and check it out.

I guess the second thing is to give you an idea of what I'm considering for upcoming posts. I've got a lot of pots on the stove, so to speak: the promised series of Top Secret resources from my scanning project; the continuation of the "A Comic Ad Is Worth 1,000 Words (or Thereabouts)" series; and a series of horror-themed scanning project and resource posts in honor of the imminence of my favorite holiday.

To be honest, I'm still struggling to recover from being blind-sided by a series of personal issues that laid me low and totally derailed my posting schedule. I can't promise that I'll be back to the regular, post-a-day schedule I was keeping prior to my going MIA, but I will do my best...

. . . . .

Now on The Escapist: Welcome to the Dungeon

2009-09-11T10:34:00.002-04:00

As of yesterday, I'm officially a contributor to The Escapist's new column, "Days of High Adventure." My first entry is an introduction to "Dungeon World," the game setting I'll be developing for future installments of the column.

For those of you not in the know, The Escapist is a popular online magazine and community primarily focused on video games and video gamer culture. "Days of High Adventure," however, is a column dedicated to old school tabletop role-playing. Fellow contributors include Allen Varney, Monte Cook, and our very own "diabolical leader," James Maliszewski. (How I had the good fortune to be called upon to write a column alongside names like these, I'll never understand.) It's an amazing opportunity for not just myself, but for the old school universe in general. To have some of the game industry's prominent writers (and me!) spreading the gospel of old school in such a forum must surely be a good thing.

. . . . .

Rumors of My Death Have Been Slightly Exaggerated

2009-09-09T12:36:00.003-04:00

I owe a huge apology to my readers: the blog's been dead in the water for a couple of weeks as I sorted out a variety of issues on the home front. I will make amends.

I probably won't be posting this week, but I plan on resuming the scanning project next week, with a deluge of material for TSR's original Top Secret.

Stay tuned!!!

Seventies Flashback Saturday

2009-08-22T09:27:00.003-04:00

I heard a radio interview with one of the members of Blue Oyster Cult yesterday (I guess they're doing a show nearby today) and it left me with a fever, the only cure for which is: more cowbell!

A Comic Ad Is Worth 1,000 Words (or Thereabouts) - Part 4

2009-08-19T13:30:00.002-04:00

Today we're casting a veteran gamer's eye on the fourth of TSR's mini-adventure comic book ads from the early 1980's. This particular ad marks the end of the party's exploration of the dungeon of Zenopus Castle. As we'll see when we examine the ad following this one, this is also the last of the dungeon crawl-themed ads.

So, join us as we take our 21st-century sensibilties on a stroll down memory lane once more, this time with "Ad 4," circa March, 1982:

Ad 4, Frame 1
Not much to look at here, as it's just a one-frame recap of the cliffhanger from the last issue, wherein the crafty, sadistic DM dropped danger-prone Indel straight into the lair of a red dragon. Indel's fellow party members - Grimslade, Valerius, and Saren - have been searching for the elf since he discovered a pit trap (the hard way) two issues ago. Honestly, though, I think they'd be much better off if the dragon made a snack of the troublesome elf, given how the party's forever pulling his fat from the fire.

Ad 4, Frame 2
Well, here it is: the frame all the neck-bearded basement dwellers out there have been waiting for. In search of their lost albatros- er, friend, the party stops while Saren examines a door - and Grimslade and Valerius stop to examine Saren's, um, "assets."

I wonder what "power" Saren, Cleric of St. Mixalot, is using to determine Indel's location. Is she using locate object to detect something familiar in the elf's possession? Not likely, since that spell only indicates direction, not proximity. Did she cast commune? That would mean she's at least 7th level. (Is the whole party 7th to 9th level? If so, what's with the green slime and goblins? And where are the magic items a party of that level should be loaded with? Methinks the DM is also stingy bugger.)

Then again, maybe she's just using her nose. After all, I'm sure Indel was not immune to the pants-soiling surprise of coming toe-to-toe with a red dragon - and elf urine must have a decidely distinctive aroma...

Ad 4, Frame 3
For the first time since entering Zenopus Castle, we see neutral-possibly-chaotic Valerius, the party's whining wallflower, spring into action. Having witnessed his utter disregard for the well-being of the missing elf on previous occasions, I find it difficult to believe that the fighter has suddenly developed an urgent sense of concern for his pointy-eared comrade. The more likely cause for his heroic action in this frame is that he got all hot and bothered slobbering over Saren's posterior, and his hormones got the better of him.

Whatever the reason for the fighter's action, the door is obviously stuck or locked (as the B/X rules tell us most dungeon doors are). Since the party is lacking a thief, their only recourse is to force the door. (Although I find it hard to believe Grimslade doesn't have knock in his spell inventory. Of course, if he is an NPC, maybe the DM's just being a dick.) So the fighter makes the roll to force the door...

Ad 4, Frame 4
...and the entire party - now reunited - is in danger of becoming PC flambé.

Oddly enough, Grimslade actually compliments Valerius in this frame. Obviously, one of two things has happened:

First, the DM is so happy that he has finally gotten the party where he wants them that he slips up and has his cranky old NPC utter a nicety to the fighter.

Second, the group had an "intervention" with the DM, and warned him about his overbearing, show-stealing magic-user. This is the option I'm leaning toward, simply because of what happens in the next two frames:

Ad 4, Frame 5
Again, Valerius shows an uncharacteristic level of heroism. "Now it's your turn, dragon!" What's with this? The dude busts down a door, and suddenly he thinks he's buff enough to take on a dragon? A red dragon no less?

Not likely. Not with the streak of self-absorption Valerius has exhibited prior to this encounter. No, I think the DM is giving the PC's an out. Notice how Valerius' magic sword's suddenly begun to glow? Obviously, the player-DM intervention worked, and Valerius' sword, previously a crappy sword +1, is now an intelligent sword with the special purpose of "Slay Dragon," and Valerius bombed the control check. (Probably due to eaither a DM fudge, or Valerius' abysmal Wisdom score.)

Ad 4, Frame 6
Yet more fodder for the player-DM intervention theory: At the mere sight of "the great sword Naril" the dragon backs down and lets the PC's walk. That crafty bastard of a DM goes through all that trouble to get the PC's in the area of effect of his red dragon's breath weapon - and then lets them go without a fight? Yeah, right. It looks to me like the players "broke" their unruly DM.

[Side note: I think this is the first time in these ads that we see an artist's name: Willingham. As in Bill Willingham, whose magnificent work graced many a D&D product in the early 80's.]

Ad 4, Frame 7
What the frak is this?! The party's just going to stroll back to the inn? What about the dragon's treasure hoard? Are they so happy to have survived the red dragon encounter that they just waltz away, leaving what is likely a massive pile of treasure without so much as a fight?

Now I think I owe the DM an apology. I think I see why the PC's are travelling light on magic items...

Be sure not to miss the next in this series of posts, wherein we'll look at Ad 5:

. . . . .

A Comic Ad Is Worth 1,000 Words (or Thereabouts) - Part 3

2009-08-18T14:17:00.017-04:00

Please excuse the dearth of posts of late. As I mentioned last week, several personal issues arose that kept me from my intentions to continue taking a deeper look at TSR's Dungeons & Dragons mini-adventure ad campaign (as seen in comic books in the early 80's). I'm back, at least for now - it may be a while before I'm able to resume my daily posting schedule, however.

Picking up where we left off, here's the blow-by-blow, gamer's-eye view of the third D&D ad ("Ad 3") circa February, 1982:

Ad 3, Frame 1
Following the second unfortunate event to befall Indel, the party's elf (at the end of the last ish), we find Grimslade, Valerius, and Saren scouring the dungeon for their lost comrade. Well, at least Grimslade and Saren are. Valerius is not calling out for the missing elf, presumably because he's a neutral (if not chaotic) character - as such, he has little desire to risk his own life for the troublesome Indel. (He may even already be formulating his own solution to the Indel Threat* - I know he would be if I were playing the fighter.)

*I view Indel as a threat not just to himself, but to the entire party. There was some discussion in the comments here regarding Indel being an NPC, a tool used by the DM to lure the party into dangerous situations and/or force them to expend resources. I don't personally subscribe to this theory, for reasons I'll discuss below.

Ad 3, Frame 2
Once again, the party is jumped by a wandering monster - or monsters, in this case - as a group of goblins descend upon them, bent on stealing their loot. Although, I'd honestly expect the "Take their treasure!" line to be coming from Valerius' mouth. Apparently nobody's informed the goblins that their sole purpose for existing is to be slain and have their bodies looted by adventurers.

Ad 3, Frame 3
And once again, Grimslade takes charge of the situation. We've been seeing the character's bossiness grow since the first panel of Ad 2. Prior to that, he seemed to need a bit of direction. Either Grimslade's player has a lack of faith in the combat abilities of his comrades, he's got control issues, or he's one of those players (we all know at least one) who needs to hog the spotlight. Whatever the reason, if I were playing one of the other characters - especially Valerius, who has so far been ordered about and left out of combat - I'd being getting a little tired of that commanding old bast- er, coot.

This behavior seemed to start after Grimslade's hair fell out and his beard went white. What happened to him? Is the player just being pissy because the DM made him roll on a critical spell failure chart that caused the PC to age unnaturally? Was the character picked up by another player? Was he perhaps possessed? Hmmm...

If anyone in the party's an NPC, I'm leaning toward it being Grimslade. I'm thinking Grimslade's original player bailed on the game group, and the PC was taken over by the DM. He's already shown that he knows the 5th-level spell hold monster, which makes him - at the minimum - 9th level. What's he doing hanging around with these other mooks? They don't seem well-equipped or confident enough to be anywhere near that level. Grimslade smacks of an NPC, the type a bad DM uses to railroad the players, or to make himself look cool. (I've played with several DM's who liked to insert NPC's into the party for just this reason - the players were just along for the ride. The games usually went the way these mini-adventures have gone thus far.)

Ad 3, Frame 4
And here's the aftermath of the encounter with the goblins. Grimslade used a "simple" sleep spell to handle them, but before they can be sent to their makers, Valerius pulls him away - which I find simply bizarre. (I'm sure we've all played enough to know that a crew like this - despite protests from Saren - isn't going to leave a bunch of sleeping goblins alive and un-looted.) Obviously, Valerius is up to something. Or maybe he is chaotic, after all, and has some motive for sparing the monsters. Or maybe he's just trying to impress the cleric, whose - um, "endowments" seem to have increased since the last ad. (Is she smuggling a pair of crystal balls in her tunic?)

Ad 3, Frames 5 through 7
Cut to Indel, as he tumbles from whatever chute or spell the pit trap in the previous ad dumped him into. From the looks of it, the fall wasn't too far:

"Oh, my head!" is - of course - role-playing shorthand for:

"I only took 4 points of damage from the fall? That's nothing!"

The DM's obviously playing with him. I can just see the devious look of glee on the cruel DM's face as he makes Indel's player feel even better by leading him to believe that the elf may have found an exit...

...only to turn the corner to come face-to-face with a dragon! Not just any dragon, either - it's a red dragon, one of the nastiest of nasties in B/X D&D. And it's not even sleeping...

It's this little scene that leads me to believe that Indel is, indeed, a PC. This looks to me like a sadistic DM getting his kicks by torturing a player character. I could, of course, be wrong. But, being a bit of a sadistic DM myself, this seems like something I might pull. /wink

This brings us to another cliffhanger, and - once again - Indel's in a very bad way. (Given the choice of being dissolved by green slime or roasted by a red dragon, I'm not sure which I'd choose.)

Next time, we'll take a good, hard look (no, that's not a sly reference to frame 2!) at "Ad 4":

. . . . .

Seventies Flashback Saturday

2009-08-15T13:07:00.001-04:00

Hopefully, normal posting will resume Monday. In the meantime:

It's Deja Vu All Over Again

2009-08-11T10:56:00.001-04:00

[Continuing with the "flashback episodes," here's another bit of nostalgia from the scanning project, originally posted in January.]

Here's a bit of (personal) history...

I discovered this scan while poking through some old files: an illustration by my friend Terry (sorry, I guess that's "Theron" now) of our PC's and an NPC from a solo Moldvay/Cook B/X mini-campaign we played about 15 years ago.

The guy on the left is Terry's (sorry, I guess that's "Theron" now) PC, Subotai. The hairy hulk in the middle is an NPC, Olaf the Smith. (I don't recall Olaf being so hirsute...) And the guy on the right is my elf, Talisul.

I wish I was half this talented at figure drawing... /sigh

. . . . .

Oh, Look: A Flashback Episode!

2009-08-10T12:56:00.005-04:00

Due to a confluence of events (my fiancee losing someone very dear to her, myself being ill, and my good friend, Terry, and his wife - whom I've not seen in four years - visiting for a week) my intended posting schedule for this week has had a serious dent put in it.

So, I'm going to take a cue from 70's and 80's sitcoms: I'm going to do a "flashback episode." Well, at least the blog equivalent. I'm going to repost one of my older posts from the archives that newer visitors to A Rust Monster... may have missed.

I apologize for the interruption in normal posting, and hope I'll be able to resume it come next Monday.

Here's the first of this week's flashbacks - my personal take on the player's and DM's map for TSR's Keep on the Borderlands:

This isn't part of our current Module B2: The Keep on the Borderlands campaign, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

A couple of years ago, I had every intention of running this module for my fiancee and my boys. I never got around to it (Whoa! There's a big suprise!) but I made this map as a player handout. I wanted something that was a little more vague and full of character, and a little less late-1970's-production-quality than the maps in the module. This is what I came up with.

So, for your gaming pleasure, here's my B2: Keep on the Borderlands players' map:

I also created a DM's version of the map, complete with encounter areas and a hex grid. You can download it here, if you like.

. . . . .

Eighties Flashback Sunday

2009-08-09T10:44:00.001-04:00

Seventies Flashback Saturday

2009-08-08T15:28:00.000-04:00

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

2009-08-07T10:31:00.005-04:00

When I undertook the task of examining each frame of TSR's 1980's-era comic ads, I originally intended to only do so with the pair I posted this past Monday. As I published the second dissected-ad post, it occurred to me that I might need to consider performing the same post-mortem procedure on the remaining ads.

Well, judging from the interest those posts generated, it looks like my posting schedule for next week has been decided: I'll be taking a look at the remaining ads.

I stole a little time yesterday to flip through my collection of 80's comics looking for all of the ads, just to make sure I have a complete set. As a result, I came up with eight mini-adventure ads, running from August, 1981, through September, 1982. I'm fairly certain that's the extent of TSR's mini-adventure ad campaign, since the next D&D ad I found after that was a boring, product-based ad, and no other mini-adventure ads appeared in any of my comics past that date.

I've covered the first two of these ads already, so starting Monday I'll take my scalpel to the "Ad 3":

. . . . .

A Comic Ad Is Worth 1,000 Words (or Thereabouts) - Part 2

2009-08-05T09:56:00.003-04:00

[When I put up Monday's post featuring a pair of TSR's Dungeons & Dragons comic ads from the early 1980's it was merely as a means to share a little nostalgia from a personal perspective.

However, when I was writing the post, I started to notice details in the ads that made me think about how the ads exemplified certain aspects of the game. After reading some of the comments the post generated, I got to thinking that it might be amusing to dissect the ads frame by frame from a D&D player's point of view.

My last post looked at "Ad 1," circa August, 1981. Up next, "Ad 2," circa November, 1981.]

Ad 2, Frame 1
A single-frame recap of the previous adventure's cliffhanger (and our introduction to one of my "Mount Rushmore" D&D monsters, green slime), there's not much to say about this frame. Although we've obviously witnessed a change of artist. Oh, and I especially like how the synopsis text is placed within the dripping green slime. Brilliant!

Ad 2, Frame 2
Here we get to witness Indel's first meeting with an unlucky event - in this case, having a Carrie moment with a bucket-full of green slime. We also are shown Valerius' alignment - although I think we could have guessed it by the end of the last ad: neutral. Although it could be argued that he's chaotic, I don't think he's exhibited any truly chaotic behavior. On the other hand, he has exhibited a strong concern for his own well-being. Case in point: poor Indel's being dissolved by slime, and Valerius' primary concern is his 10gp sword.

Ad 2, Frame 3
Grimslade is obviously the take-charge member of the group, exhibited here by his yellow-emphasized orders to Valerius. I can almost hear the fighter's deadpan delivery of: "I'll drag him from the room!" I'm sure it's delivered in the same tone my teenage sons use when they say, "I'll go clean up my room!" after being ordered to do so. In fact, Valerius is probably as concerned about Indel's fate versus that of his sword as my boys are over the cleanliness of their rooms versus their video games.

Ad 2, Frame 4
Oh, yeah - Grimslade is a badass! Here we see our second spell - presumably burning hands, since fire ball would likely roast them all at this range. Of course, that means that the DM is using not only the AD&D Monster Manual (see last post) but also the Player's Handbook, since burning hands doesn't exist in B/X. Obviously, Grimslade's a little tired of Valerius' tone, as we see that he barely gives the fighter time to get clear of the spell's area of effect before firing it off. (It never hurts to occasionally remind the meat-shields who's boss, either.)

Ad 2, Frame 5
And now we meet the fourth member of the party: Saren, the cleric. Maybe I've been rolling polyhedral dice far too long, but I can just see the back story here:

The adventure did not begin at the entrance to the dungeon, as I had earlier surmised. Instead, it began elsewhere - probably in a tavern or the like, or possibly at the entrance to "the ruins of Zenopus Castle" itself - and during subsequent adventuring, Saren's player's previous character met his/her ultimate fate. Of course, not being one to make the other players wait, the DM ruled that the remaining three players could continue the adventure while Saren's player rolled up a replacement character. Two encounters later (sounds about the right amount of play time to roll up a B/X cleric), Saren steps out of the shadows, spouting the hand-wavey "No questions now" line. How do the other characters know her? "You met her in the keep before heading out for Zenopus Castle," was probably the DM's equally hand-wavey answer. Yep, I bet that's just the way it went down...

Ad 2, Frame 6
This frame doesn't have a lot going on, aside from typically rigid player speech - oh, and our introduction to the powers of the cleric. Given the representation of Saren's powers versus that of Grimslade's powers, is it any wonder nobody ever wanted to play the party cleric back in the day? I don't know if the problem is a game problem that is perfectly rendered in this frame, or if it's a perception problem that was only exacerbated by it. Whatever the case, this frame pretty much says all you need to know about early D&D clerics. (Fortunately, Saren comes off as a somewhat-enigmatic, kinda-cool character, so it's not a total loss.)

Ad 2, Frame 7
Fast forward a few turns, and Indel's back up - and being ordered about by the increasingly commanding Grimslade. (Valerius' dwelling on the sword issue - which we see continuing here as the fighter lays claim to the magic sword - is probably grating on his nerves.) Of course, the real purpose of this frame is to introduce us to the post-encounter ritual of collecting cool loot and searching for secret doors...

Ad 2, Frame 8
...and discovering untriggered traps. This frame introduces us to the pit trap, but it also gives us the chance to see yet another unfortunate event befall the elf. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm starting to wonder what's up with that character. Is he really that lacking in perceptive talent? Is his player a lousy die roller? Did his player piss off the DM? Whatever the reason for his misfortune, as I mentioned in comments elsewhere on this blog, I believe Indel to be a serious threat to the party. His continued need of being rescued means the party must endanger themselves and use valuable resources to do so. Were I playing Valerius, it'd be a safe bet that Indel would suffer from a fatal "accident" before too much longer.

Ad 2, Frame 9
And we conclude this ad with another cliffhanger, this one also involving - or perhaps caused by - Indel the unlucky elf. The DM's used the elf to lure the players into sending their characters ever deeper into his deathtrap - er, dungeon. Probably to a deeper level, where they will likely face challenges far beyond their abilities, and where - if they don't keep their wits focused to a razor-sharp edge - they will certainly perish.

Sounds like my kind of Dungeon Master!

. . . . .

A Comic Ad Is Worth 1,000 Words (or Thereabouts) - Part 1

2009-08-04T13:27:00.012-04:00

When I put up yesterday's post featuring a pair of TSR's Dungeons & Dragons comic ads from the early 1980's it was merely as a means to share a little nostalgia from a personal perspective.

However, when I was writing the post, I started to notice details in the ads that made me think about how the ads exemplified certain aspects of the game. After reading some of the comments the post generated, I got to thinking that it might be amusing to dissect the ads frame by frame from a D&D player's point of view.

Up first, "Ad 1," circa August, 1981.

Ad 1, Frame 1
This ad is presumably the first of the series - I certainly have not found any that appear to belong to an earlier point in the story arc they represent. Working from this assumption, here we see a classic D&D conceit: the adventure beginning with the player characters standing at the entrance to the dungeon. Of course, one could make a valid argument that we're simply entering the story in media res - fair enough, and possibly supported by evidence we'll examine while discussing the next ad.

In this case, the dungeon is to be found behind "a secret door in the ruins of Zenopus Castle." This frame also introduces us to a core conceit of the game: the adventuring party. This one consists of three player characters: a fighter, an elf, and a magic-user. (Note that Indel is just an "elf" - albeit a particularly short one. Obviously, this isn't a game of Advanced D&D.) The party even appears to have a defined marching order, with the fighter dutifully fulfilling his role as a meat-shield.

Ad 1, Frame 2
Not much to see here, but we are introduced to the concept of infravision. I like the use of subtle visual and textual cues to imply that torches don't shed a heck of a lot of light, as well as the dungeon appearing damp. (Anybody who's looked at a few of my scanned maps will likely have noticed that water features prominently in most of them. Of course, a few puddles are far from "prominent," but hey - any dungeon that has water in it is okay in my book.)

Ad 1, Frame 3
Indel may have a knack for getting into tight spots (as we'll see later), but he's apparently not lacking in chutzpah - he actually volunteers to take point. He must be truly brave and confident in his perceptive abilities. Or maybe he's just a greedy little bugger who wants first dibs on whatever valuable treasure lies ahead. (Given the apparent lack of said perceptive abilities we'll see later, I'd probably guess it's the latter.)

Ad 1, Frame 4
The party switchs up the marching order. In my experience, this would usually happen so that the party can better take advantage of the elf's infravision. Unfortunately, the ad's creators blow any chance of this ad being used to teach new players how to properly explore a dungeon by having Indel bear the torch. So much for the party relying on the elf's infravision to preserve the element of surprise...

Ad 1, Frames 5 & 6
The party obviously only sees the approaching monster as a threatening shadow (and sound) despite the torch being held by the foremost party member. My guess would be that we're witnessing an encounter with a wandering monster, and the DM has rolled that the encounter distance is beyond the torch's 30-foot range. And since Indel can't use his infravision, Grimslade's query is moot. And I don't quite know what Valerius hopes to achieve with a (another?) torch. Then again, he's a fighter, and that often means low INT and WIS...

Finally, the approaching monster is revealed - as a shambling mound. Um... are those even to be found in B/X D&D? I don't think so. Obviously, the DM's doing something many of us regularly did back in the day: combining elements from AD&D into his B/X game. (After all, as far as we were concerned, these were not different games.)

Ad 1, Frame 7
As the shadow of the shambling mound falls over the party, we see that Valerius is a bit of a weeny, as fighters go. Heck, he practically begs Grimslade to cast a "charm" to "save" the party (even resorting to raising his voice). We also see that Indel isn't as brave as he earlier led us to believe, as he cowers behind Grimslade's robes. (I'm leaning more and more toward him being a greedy little you-know-what. I bet his player wanted to play a thief, but didn't get good enough ability score rolls.) Of course, in Valerius' and Indel's defense, that is a very threatening shadow.

I find it interesting that the term Valerius uses here is "charm" instead of "spell." I'd have to give kudos to Valerius' player for not defaulting to player knowledge of the game term in this situation.

Ad 2, Frame 8
Oooohhooohh - our first spell! This frame really caught my attention when I put up yesterday's post.

First, the words Grimslade cites are clearly not something we can understand. Furthermore, they're in a hex-shaped balloon. Is the artist conveying to us visually that D&D's "Vancian" magic is something we cannot comprehend - and somehow mathematical in nature? Hmmmm....

Second, when the spell fires off, not only does it possess an audible element ("Zap!") but it also gives off light. (We know that the light is not merely there to serve as an artistic emphasis because it's this light that reveals the green slime on the walls.) I had never considered that hold monster might appear this way when cast. It really reinforces something I've come to understand: that the spell effects found in the book are not the spell appearances. I know for certain that I, personally, have been allowing spell casting to be handled in far too mundane a manner in my games. I plan to use spell appearances to enhance the sense of wonder in future games, and this frame will serve as a good reminder to that end.

Ad 2, Frame 9
At last, we're introduced to one of my all-time favorite D&D monsters: green slime! Oh, how I love inflicting this stuff on my players. (Ask my fiancee if she remembers her elf trying to crawl under the portcullis trap - only to find out about the patch of green slime lurking in the shadows over the doorway. Muhahahahahaha) I'm pretty sure my love for the stuff was inspired by the next ad - and probably subconsciously fueled by my love for 50's sci-fi movies and my enduring affection for another childhood toy and 70's icon.

In terms of the story, there's not much to see here, as this is the ad's cliffhanger moment.

Next time we'll tackle the second ad - and the appearance of a fourth party member. Stay tuned!

. . . . .

Look Out! It's Dripping!

2009-08-03T19:36:00.005-04:00

For some reason, I have a strange affection for green slime* - one that has been with me for as long as I've been playing Dungeons & Dragons. I'm fairly certain that these are to blame:

*It's a monster - not a hazard!

. . . . .

Eighties Flashback Sunday

2009-08-02T10:26:00.002-04:00

Seventies Flashback Saturday

2009-08-01T10:20:00.000-04:00

Finally Ready for Prime Time: Self-filling Expert Dungeons and Dragons Character Sheet

2009-07-31T14:07:00.005-04:00

As I promised, here's the self-filling Expert D&D (Cook B/X edition) character sheet. With the push of a button, the sheet will populate itself with a complete character, from all levels and classes available as per the B/X Expert rules - complete with randomized name, description, weapons, armor, spells, and magic items.

Enjoy!

(Warning: The file's ~34MB, so prepare yourself...)

. . . . .