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Thursday, March 3, 2011

Captcha-Inspired Henchmen (Order of the D30)

I've posted a couple of Captcha-inspired name lists before, and I thought I'd do it again. But I didn't want to post "just another list" - I wanted to make something a little more... entertaining. So, here's a D30 list of henchmen, each with his or her own quirk. Each of these is taken from Captcha's word-verification system, although a few have had a letter or two changed to fit the bill. Hopefully, this will add a little humorous entertainment to your players' next hiring session:

  1. Nomap - Whatever you do, don't let this guy serve as your dungeon mapper.
  2. Slymes - Ask this guy about his collection. Go ahead - I dare ya!
  3. Laziboi - Good luck getting your money's worth out of this guy.
  4. Suxplode - Ask him about his John Belushi imitation.
  5. Perpo - Keep him away from your valuables.
  6. Purvo - Perpo's bro - keep him away from your women.
  7. Scench - Better stock up on those little pine-tree air fresheners before the next dungeon crawl.
  8. Mytopy - The lowest paid wilderness scout in history.
  9. Satedd - She spends a lot of time lying in bed, smoking cigarettes.
  10. Skidwo - The lowest paid wagon driver in history.
  11. Pookase - Don't ask him what he keeps in that stinky wooden box - he just might show you!
  12. Hatearbl - "What's an 'arbl'?" you ask? Get ready for a five-hour diatribe...
  13. Frothlot - The town's token madman. Works for free for anybody that's stupid enough willing to take him on.
  14. Hylybagi - Is there anything that guy can't hide in the folds of his clothes?
  15. Knoknoc - The jokes never cease...
  16. Ablepa - He may be older than dirt, but he can get the job done.
  17. Sincess - Says she a princess whose royal family has been exiled from a foreign land. She just "entertains" to keep food on the table.
  18. Ashnudg - One of those guys who sits in silence, poking the edge of the fire with his toe.
  19. Cutm - Don't cross this guy or you may wake up one morning a little short on genitalia.
  20. Zipnada - She's hot, but the temperature drops to absolute zero when she's nearby.
  21. Cupical - She's always trying to play matchmaker for the party members.
  22. Edgerts - His skin looks a little loose. "Is this better?"
  23. Frigno - Don't make him angry - you wouldn't like him when he's angry.
  24. Nuturt - When he's not complaining about his "discomfort," he's "adjusting" himself.
  25. Dialises - I got nothin'. But the name's just too good not to include in this list.
  26. Bootia - Henchwoman. 'Nuff said.
  27. Crefufio - Was a top interior designer before the bad economy forced him to take up henching.
  28. Dicro - Claims to be well endowed. To prove it, he often tells a story about being adrift in a rowboat with no paddle.
  29. Unksel - Has a hereditary, ubbi-dubbi-ish speech impediment. Ask him about his nsieces and nsephews.
  30. Greenicci - Not sure what she's got, but it's emerald-hued and highly contagious.

. . . . .

6 comments:

  1. 26. Bootia - is it the junk in the trunk or the boots that are made for walking?

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  2. @John: That's what DM's are for - to make those hard decisions. Being the munificent DM I am, I'd say: both. :D

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  3. Hilarious! Very clever.

    And really, it's actually useful for a quick NPC on the fly.

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  4. Thanks, Martin. :D If you like this, stay tuned; I had too much hench-y goodness to fit on this one table, so another is in the queue.

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  5. @sirlarkins: By all means, swipe away! (I don't know why I didn't think of the Omnibus when I posted this.) I have another list of 30 henchmen coming tomorrow morning, which you may also swipe if you like. :D

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